Mother's rings pawned to buy P

By SCOTT MacLEOD

Although Jane's drug habit sparked a mortgagee sale of her rural house, her greatest regret is stealing $200,000 in jewellery from her mother.

Jane, 31, took the jewels to pawn shops for the cash she needed to buy P. She has been addicted to similar drugs for 13 years.

She had already pawned most of her furniture and used rent money from her tenants to buy drugs rather than pay a mortgage.

When Jane spoke to the Herald at her parents' Auckland home yesterday, she joined a growing queue of P addicts speaking out about the drug's effects.

Jane said P had left her "in a very cold and dark place. The strong hold it has on a person is horrible, just horrible".

The single mother would not allow her real name or some other details to be published.

Figures made public last week show New Zealand is one of the three worst nations in the world for use of methamphetamines such as P.

Jane began snorting a powdered form of meth, called crank, at 18.

At first she took it only on weekends, but by 1996 it was a daily habit.

She stopped using during her first two pregnancies, but kept taking it during the third. But it did not ease postnatal depression and exhaustion.

"Then I was introduced to P, about 2 1/2 years ago," Jane said yesterday.

Her reaction? "Wow. I came to life. I had more energy, more confidence, and it took away my depression."

Over time it took more and more P to reach the same high.

"You're always trying to repeat that first rush. And when you're coming down, it's all depression, grumpiness and mood swings."

Last Christmas, when Jane's mother was in her bedroom and "wouldn't hear me out", Jane kicked the door so hard she split it in half.

Certain people, places and moods would trigger her into smoking. Sometimes she would go through a $1000 gram in three days.

The cash had to come from somewhere, and need outweighed conscience.

First came the mortgagee sale, the loss of furniture. Then her mother's gold and diamond rings.

Jane's mother said: "The drug meant more to her than her family."

Jane said: "No. When you're doing that, you're on P."

She hit rock-bottom more times than she can remember. She was suicidal. She sought the help of a doctor, and the family tried to engage social agencies. But the agencies were already swamped with other desperate cases.

One Thursday in May, Jane stole jewellery, pawned it, bought some P, and hit town for the first time in two years.

The next morning, she phoned her mother's home to find a CYF worker was already there.

"After two years I realised everything I had lost, the implications for my kids and family," Jane said. "I was trying to achieve that high and I wasn't getting it."

Jane now has another child, a 19-month-old-son described by her maternal grandmother as a "crank baby". He has been slow to walk and talk, and screams loudly at night.

Jane has vowed to quit using P. She has "mostly" kept that promise, and will visit a Care NZ clinic late next month for a drug and alcohol assessment.

But quitting is hard. Jane said heroin addicts could use methadone to help them quit, but there was nothing similar for P users. Nor was there a good detox programme.

Her desire is for her children to grow up as geeks.

Her goal is to leave Auckland and its temptations.

"I've lost furniture and a four-bedroom house," Jane said. "I've lost everything."

Herald Feature: The P epidemic

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