I have always had a love-hate relationship with the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
When I was 13 , our VCR (with a remote at the end of a long skinny cord) was constantly being used to escape the endless Our World and 70's sitcoms shows mum and dad used to watch.
One evening my parents let me watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show movie and for the first time in my life I started thinking about sexuality. Anything sex related at that age is one of the most uncomfortable situations while your mum and dad and big sister are metres away from you.
We have all had that feeling in our younger lives - can they see me blush at certain scenes? Should I leave the room to avoid embarrassment or does that make it worse? I just sat there holding my breath as Janet ended up in bed with Frank-N-Furter - the first time I had seen any type of adultery.
Taking a deep breath I felt a sense of relief as the movie moved on but then, all of a sudden, a MAN was in bed with Frank-N-Furter - the first time I had seen any display of that sort behaviour.
I wanted it to stop, this time, not only was I holding my breathe but I was frozen solid too scared to look at mum and dad. Fearful to move any muscle in my body as it stirred emotions and thoughts far beyond my comprehension.
Why was I thinking that could be me in the future? What does this mean? My poor mind was working overtime. "Please no one look at me" screamed in my head and I was terrified this abnormal relationship being played out on the TV was going to expose me to myself and my family.
The fact Rocky was a toned Adonis sent me to the next level furiously trying to work out why I was enjoying the creation of this human in tight gold pants. I had enough - it was time to retire to the comfort of my Star Wars-themed bedroom.
I thought about that movie my whole young adult life as I hid in the closet - I mean - I loved the movie because it showed a bit of real life but at the same time I hated it because it utterly confused me
As time went by the movie faded from my memory and I got back to small town rural life, going to school, eeling, feeding the pigs and fighting with my sister over who was going to wash or dry the dishes.
However, as I got older I realised why it struck a chord with me - it was my only example of a gay person . There was no Ellen back then - hell, there was nothing to relate to apart from the odd "sketch" on a public toilet wall
Was I strange like Frank-N-Furter? Was I destined to be some weird person living in a castle with a humped-back assistant? And then, by chance, an unlikely New Zealand icon saved the day.
There he was, former Prime Minister of New Zealand Sir Rob Muldoon, playing the part of the narrator in a stage show version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
It was a big deal and made headline news. Strangely this made me breathe a huge sigh of relief that I had been holding in for years. Here's a guy with huge mana and status throughout this country, and he is taking part in something I thought was weird, yet exciting. So, I concluded that if Piggy Muldoon happily took a huge role in this show, then it must be ok to feel the way I do.
I became comfortable with understanding why the movie had a huge impact on me but still not comfortable with myself and the questions it kept raising.
I got into broadcasting and moved to Hamilton choosing to ignore those questions until the creator of the Rocky Horror movie, Richard O'Brien, shifted back to the Waikato and a statue was made in his honour. It struck too close to home - seriously I was feeling like this damn movie was following me around to remind me of my dark secrets. Was I paranoid?
It wasn't until I came out in 2010 that I managed to understand those uncomfortable feelings back when I was younger.
I understood relationships are not perfect, sometimes not heterosexual and that I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable. Acceptance is a huge part of understanding those thoughts that flooded my teenage mind. Accepting what you can and can't control - how I feel about it and how other people see me because of it. Movies are the magic of story telling and this one movie helped me create my own story.
Mike Puru is a presenter on The Hits.