Maxwell admits to 'challenges' dealing with alcohol

Former All Blacks lock Norm Maxwell admits he has had challenges with alcohol and has spoken out on the issue in a bid to raise awareness among other young men.

Maxwell, who is leaving the Crusaders after 10 seasons to take up a rugby contract in Japan, said today that he did not believe he was an alcoholic, and he had never had rehabilitation or treatment.

"My alcohol intake has reduced massively in the last couple of years," he said.

"I've never really enjoyed the taste of alcohol -- not even beer -- and I would never have a wine with dinner."

But the 29-year-old admitted he had liked the effect and had used alcohol unwisely at times to cover up insecurities, anxieties and fears, and to cope with the public pressures of being a high-profile rugby player.

"I always prided myself on being Mr Brave Guy, but I didn't really know how scared I was of a lot of things," he said.

Maxwell said he now wanted to "feel free to be myself, without fear, without worrying about what people think about me, and without having to be propped up by anything artificial, like alcohol".

"I would like to be braver than that."

The veteran of 36 All Blacks tests said he wanted a family of his own one day and did not want drinking to get in the way of his goals.

He insisted he was not intoxicated on Sunday afternoon when he gashed his right arm in a freak accident after crashing it through a plate-glass door at Crusaders teammate Campbell Johnstone's house.

Maxwell said he had just a couple of drinks after the Crusaders' fifth Super 12 final win and went home.

"I can't afford to lose control"

He said some team members had gathered at Johnstone's house the next day with the intention of having a few beers before an official function later that day.

Maxwell was granted diversion in Dunedin court after being charged with assault for shouldering a doorman in a bar in the city early on the day after the Crusaders' Super 12 match against the Highlanders on May 7. He also had to pay $700 to charity.

He felt the incident was blown out of proportion in the media, but he was sorry for what happened and had apologised.

Maxwell said he was, by nature, an easy-going, laid-back person.

"I'm not an angry guy. All I have ever wanted was to be myself and to be happy," he said.

"There are a couple of sides to me. One is a pretty competitive, warrior guy (on the field), and the second is a pretty loving character."

He conceded excess alcohol had sometimes led him to do things "which aren't really me", although he had never punched anyone while out on the booze.

Maxwell said he had seen so many other young people face similar challenges with alcohol and use it to mask their fears and emotions.

"If you push alcohol, it will push you," he said.

"Drinking will take you away from yourself if you go too far with it."

He first used alcohol as a teenager.

"I wasn't a super-early starter, probably 16."

A lot of his life had been spent as a rugby player, and drinking was often a way of "fitting in".

But Maxwell was adamant the Crusaders were not habitually heavy drinkers.

He said he had learnt a lot of coping strategies through rugby, but he had found it hard to cope with some of the pressures of public recognition.

"Thousands of people have an opinion on your life. A lot of people seem to live their lives through you," he said.

- nzpa