So what has worked for my daughter? I think it has mostly been general middle-class advantage. Two professional parents and the language environment that goes with that. Being read to frequently as a small child and access to good early childhood education. Living and holidaying overseas for several years. Attending schools with mainly advantaged peers and whose teachers were able to capitalise on all the advantages those children and young people were bringing to school.
I don't think of my daughter as "gifted". There are children who are genuinely gifted but there are many more who have been highly advantaged and whose parents prefer to think they are gifted.
The Key Government keeps trying to downplay socio-economic and other contextual influences on education. This is most unfair for many schools and the communities they serve. Schools get compared on raw results or by decile rather than in any "value-added" way that takes better account of social contexts.
Minister of Education Hekia Parata says New Zealand's PISA results show that socio-economic status accounts for only 18 per cent of student achievement. But what is being used to make this claim is only PISA's narrow definition of family socio-economic influence.
International experts tell me that by using PISA's wider criteria that include neighbourhood and school socio-economic factors, 78 per cent of New Zealand's results are explained by socio-economic conditions.
This strong link between social factors and student achievement in PISA results should not surprise.
A powerful relationship between social class and student achievement has been a repeated theme of world research in the sociology of education for more than 50 years.
I congratulate my daughter for her wonderful school achievements and I congratulate the teachers that helped her to excel. But none of us should imagine that patterns of unequal attainment in the school system will change very much without reducing socio-economic inequalities and related segregation between schools.
Martin Thrupp is professor of education at the University of Waikato.