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Cabinet minister Trevor Mallard feels "pretty rotten" about the loss of his favourite portfolios and demotion from Labour's front bench, but says he is determined to fight his way back to the party's top ranks.
Mr Mallard yesterday emerged from several days of avoiding public comment to say that he felt "heavily punished" by Wednesday's Cabinet reshuffle.
Some of Labour's political rivals say Mr Mallard was treated too softly by Prime Minister Helen Clark, who took the Sport, Economic Development and Rugby World Cup portfolios from him after he punched National MP Tau Henare in one of Parliament's lobbies.
She also shifted him down Labour's ranks to No 10 from No 7, but handed him new portfolios in Environment, Broadcasting and Labour.
Mr Mallard said he felt lucky to survive in the Cabinet and likened it to being selected for a sports team on past form and history after committing a droppable offence.
"I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller that I was driving myself.
"In a funny way, now that it's over with I've got an absolute determination to be an example of positive rehabilitation," he said.
"And I certainly want in the longer-term to get back into the A-team on the front bench."
The fallout from the clash with Mr Henare continued yesterday when the National MP issued a statement saying he was disappointed the Prime Minister was trying to rewrite what happened between the pair.
Helen Clark has said Mr Henare moved first, grabbing Mr Mallard's tie and throat, but Mr Henare said Mr Mallard had apologised and he knew who the aggressor was.
Mr Mallard yesterday refused to talk about what actually happened during the fracas.
He said it didn't matter, and he shouldn't have hit Mr Henare regardless of the circumstances.
Neither did he want to talk about the anger management help the Prime Minister has said he will get, saying it was not appropriate to discuss it "if it's going to work".
He stressed that going from the front bench to the second bench was very important in parliamentary terms and a "kick in the guts".
He revealed he had been working to align the Research and Science, Tertiary Education and Economic Development portfolios and had suggested the three be put together.
That was before his punch-up. This week he watched as Helen Clark took his advice but gave the job to Pete Hodgson. "It's fair to say that Pete's got the job that I wanted to have."
Asked if he had considered leaving Parliament after the fight, Mr Mallard said every option had gone through his mind.
He is understood to have apologised to the Labour caucus at Wednesday's special meeting to elect new members of the Cabinet, and said he expected to be the target of needling from the National Party when he returned to the House next week.
