Low divorce rate not a sign of happy marriages - expert

A third of couples who married in 1984 divorced before their 25th anniversary. File photo / NZ Herald

The lowest divorce rate in 29 years is not a sign couples had a smooth ride in 2009 - rather, it shows Kiwis now avoid marriage unless they're truly committed, says a relationship counsellor at New Zealand's biggest provider.

Statistics New Zealand released figures today showing just over one in 100 couples divorced in 2009, the lowest rate since 1980.

At the same time, only one in 38 unmarried adults married, less than a third of the marriage rate in 1971.

Relationship Services Bay of Plenty area manager Les Simmonds said he was at first surprised by the low divorce rate because more couples had come in for counselling last year.

The service's chief executive, Jeff Sanders, said 16,600 people used the service in 2009, marking a "significant increase".

But it made sense considering which couples got married in recent years, Mr Simmonds said.

"It's an interesting picture: if you look at the stats you can see clearly that people getting married has dropped enormously," he said.

In his day-to-day counselling he found fewer couples felt a social pressure to get married - if they got married it was for religious reasons or a significant commitment, he said.

"Getting married is a major decision now for people."

Many couples did not see marriage as necessary, and it was not seen as a prerequisite for having children, Mr Simmonds said.

Therefore, married couples had more invested in their marriages and worked harder to keep them together, he said.

Last year was also a tough year for couples financially, and that was a reason to avoid separation, he said.

"In hard times people think a lot harder about [separating], alright, because when your chances of buying a house on your own becomes non-existent, you think about working harder on your relationship."

But in terms of divorce, it usually took at least two years from separation to divorce, and if people avoided separation last year, that statistic would filter through to divorce this year or next, he said.

It would be fascinating to see how the trend continues, Mr Simmonds said.

The Family Court granted 8700 marriage dissolution orders in 2009, a rate of 10.2 per 1000 existing marriages - just over one in 100 couples - said Statistics New Zealand.

The number of couples divorced was the lowest since 1989, and the divorce rate the lowest since 1980, it said.

However, the agency found that about one-third of couples who were married 25 years ago, in 1984, had divorced before their silver (25th) wedding anniversary.

Meanwhile, the marriage rate continued its slow downward trend, now less than one-third of what it was in 1971.

Thirty-eight years ago, there were 45.5 marriages for every 1000 unmarried adults - that is, one in 11 unmarried adults got married that year.

Last year, there were only 13.2 marriages per 1000 unmarried adults, which translates to one in 38 unmarried adults getting married.

There were 21,600 marriages registered in New Zealand in the December 2009 year, down 1 per cent from the previous year, SNZ said.