"Unfortunately this gag is a bit awful. It's just word association, and we all know that graveyards aren't noisy at all."
Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot
Brendhan's rating: 3/10
"The joke is only a gag because it rhymes. The only way this could be found funny is if your brain hadn't fully developed. It would only be funny if you are under the age of 5. It's hard to see why Smith and Caughey's has the most expensive crackers as they probably have the worst jokes of the lot."
Countdown: Bon Bons, $14.99 for 6
Q: What lies in a pram and wobbles?
A: A jelly baby.
Brendhan's rating: 5/10
"Not great, again good if you're a kid. Still, it creates quite a funny image in your mind."
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because of the honey comb.
Brendhan's rating: "Funny, quirky and not bad. This has a genuinely funny punchline, and the thought of a bee combing its hair is cute."
Look Sharp: Christmas Bon Bons, $5 for 4
Q: What can you make that can't be seen?
A: A noise.
Brendhan's rating: 6/10
"Nice punchline. Kinda funny and snappy."
Q: How can you tell if a bucket is sick?
A: See if he is a little pail.
Brendhan's rating: 4/10
"Nowhere near as good as the first punchline, but should conjure up a laugh for the oldies."
Lotsa Goodies: Diablotins Noel, $5.99 for 6
Q: What do you call two robbers?
A: A pair of knickers.
Brendhan's rating: 6/10
"I like this gag. And knickers is a funny word. This joke should get a laugh from young and old."
Q: Why did the mechanic sleep under the car?
A: He wanted to get up oily in the morning.
Brendhan's rating: 6/10
"Yeah, I like this, it sounds like you are saying it with a New York accent."
The Warehouse: Red Stamp, $9.99 for 30
Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with.
Brendhan's rating: 7/10
"Ha ha, that's genuinely funny. You could probably go on stage and say that at a comedy club. It would get a groan, but some people would laugh. Not a bad gag."
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Brendhan's rating: 8/10
"The best gag of them all ... this would get a big laugh around the Christmas table. It has a really funny punchline."
Lovegrove concluded he'd prefer if Christmas crackers had an adult theme, because "lots of my jokes would work. The one liners I like are pretty simple but effective."
Here are two alternative cracker gags he reckons would be ideal:
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
Q: What is red and invisible?
A: No tomatoes.
