Addressing the factors of loneliness is crucial this Christmas and we can all play our part. Photo / 123rf
Addressing the factors of loneliness is crucial this Christmas and we can all play our part. Photo / 123rf
Opinion by Bonnie Robinson
OPINION
The Christmas season throws into sharp relief a distressing reality that will hit especially hard this year - loneliness.
At Presbyterian Support Northern (PSN), a charity dedicated to supporting families in need, we’re expecting a harder Christmas than usual for many vulnerable New Zealanders.
For those faced with financialchallenges from job losses, the cost-of-living crisis and high rents or mortgage rates, the Christmas decorations, songs, supermarket foods and promotions will certainly make it easy to feel left out of Christmas.
Our Communities Feeding Communities initiative in Mt Roskill, Auckland, is seeing people we’ve never seen before – people who are getting a top-up because they have a bill that has left them with no money for food, or people who have just lost a job. We have heard of families who can’t afford to travel to see loved ones, or who are staying home from gatherings because they can’t afford to buy presents or contribute food.
There are also those who are isolated for other reasons.
Staff at our specialist family violence response service, Shine, are well-prepared for the expected surge in family violence that usually rises during this time, often caused by factors like isolation, the cost-of-living crisis restricting travel to see families, and emotional isolation preventing open communication about personal struggles.
The expected peak comes on the back of revealing new figures from the partnership Shine entered with Google in November. This partnership revealed search interest in domestic violence in New Zealand had reached a seven-year high in 2023, with our country also topping the global search for “women’s shelter”.
In the lead-up to Christmas, loneliness is the primary reason people also reach out to Lifeline, making it the top-reported cause for calls. We generally see call numbers decrease over the Christmas period, perhaps because some find comfort in the company of loved ones. However, in January, calls spike as the temporary holiday feelings fade, family or friends depart, and reality sets in.
Loneliness can also hit the elderly hard, especially those living alone without families to call on over Christmas.
PSN supports more than 3100 people in their homes every year throughout the upper North Island. For many, a visit from one of our support workers is the only human contact they have each week.
We’re humans, we need connection. In fact, companionship is so critical to our wellbeing that Vivek Murthy, the US surgeon general, recently warned that “being socially disconnected” has a similar effect on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Other studies show a range of conditions associated with loneliness, such as heart disease and stroke, and poor physical and mental health. Socially isolated people run a higher risk of dementia.
For many, there is no way out of feeling isolated, and economic constraints can prevent people from participating in social activities that might help when feeling lonely.
Presbyterian Support Northern CEO Bonnie Robinson
There are, however, simple gestures we can make that will alleviate some of this loneliness in others.
At Presbyterian Support Northern, we make a conscious effort to reach out and recognise the importance of connection with Christmas cards to all our clients. One of our staff members recalled seeing our card taped to an elderly client’s window. This was his only card, and it was precious to him.
I would also suggest, if you can afford it, buying a bit extra at the supermarket and taking the kids down to help unload at local food banks. If you know of someone living nearby who is spending Christmas alone, why not lay an extra place at your table and invite them over? Or make a gift to a local charitable social service agency so they can do more to assist people who are isolated and at risk.
