Local Focus: Waka ama helped save me from my depression

Keri Mankelow-Ngatoro has been paddling since age 11. Now aged 22, waka ama is the sport that keeps her physically and mentally fit.

Her team, Kaiarahi Toa, are New Zealand champions in the premier women’s grade, taking gold in both the W6 500m and the 1500m at this year’s Waka Ama Sprint Nationals.

“I love the culture of the sport. I love the sense of belonging, your teammates are like family,” she said.

In 2021, while studying law at Waikato University, she found out she was pregnant with twins. Just days before she was due to be induced, she was told she was a close contact with a Covid-positive case.

“No one had had Covid in Gisborne. I was three days out from being induced, so it was quite a scary experience.”

Keri went into isolation and, fortunately, her Covid-19 test was negative.

The day of the birth arrived and Tāwhiri (3033g, or 6.11 lbs) and Rāwhiri (2240g, or 4.15 lbs) were born.

“I had just given birth and they tested me and I was positive. I was the first Covid case in the Gisborne maternity unit,” Keri said.

She was moved into a makeshift room in maternity.

“Being locked in a cold, dark room for five days with newborn babies and Covid was a pretty horrible experience. No one should have to go through something like that the first time becoming a mum,” Keri said.

After five days Keri was allowed to go home, but it wasn’t the homecoming she had hoped for, because one of the babies had to stay in the hospital as he struggled to maintain his body temperature.

“I could only leave with one twin and I wasn’t allowed to visit the other twin. I was missing out on the key moments with my baby.”

The family were finally reunited, but the joy of having the boys home was short-lived because Keri kept getting sick.

After a two-month-long infection, she continued to get hot flushes, vertigo, and flu-like symptoms.

Keri visited her doctor 20 times before being diagnosed with long Covid.

“I was pretty upset with the health system, but it took me hassling them to actually look at what was wrong with me.”

11 months on, Keri has learned to function with her long Covid diagnosis.

“There was nothing that was followed up from it. It was just on my clinical records. I guess that’s just what I have to live with now,” she said.

The toll it took on her, coupled with being isolated in the early days of being a mother, was more than just physical.

Keri starting to get suicidal thoughts.

“I just wanted to end it, you just don’t want to keep going through horrible times,” Keri said.

“Being sick and becoming a new mother, that would have definitely been the catalyst to my depression because I was just so upset all the time.”

Keri sought professional help for her depression after her midwife recommended she see a counsellor, but she ultimately found relief in what she had always loved.

It’s been a recovery with plenty of ups and downs, a journey that has led her back to waka ama.

“When you’re sleep deprived, a new mum, and had all these bad things happen to you, it’s like a wave, in and out of dark times.

“But when I went back to paddling I knew I was coming out of it.”

The experience has given Keri a new outlook on life.

“The horrible times are what make you a strong person. I have a greater appreciation for life and my body. I try to live each day as if it’s my last.”

This year Keri is continuing her law degree, Tāwhiti and Rāwhiri will celebrate their first birthday in March, and she is training for the Long-Distance Nationals and the 2024 World Sprint Championships.

For free confidential support for depression and anxiety provided by trained counsellors, contact Depression Helpline. Available 24 hours, 7 days. Phone: 0800‐376‐633 Free text: 4202

Public Interest Journalism Fund