Although gay men had the highest rates of HIV this did not mean all homosexual behaviour was an HIV risk. Lesbian women had the lowest rates of HIV out of any sexually active demographic.
The question was based on inaccurate assumptions and led to discrimination, he said.
Fidelity Life Assurance corporate marketing manager Peter Mensah said people's sexuality "absolutely" did not affect their eligibility for life insurance.
"It has never been our intention to cause offence and Fidelity Life unreservedly apologises for any that has been taken," he said.
"Fidelity Life will undertake a review of this question and will ensure that any necessary steps required to allay any concerns are taken."
New Zealand Aids Foundation executive director Shaun Robinson said the wording of the question resonated with homophobia.
Most homosexual activity was very low risk for HIV and for women there was virtually no risk at all, he said.
"This outdated understanding of HIV results in instantly declined or absurdly high premiums for people living with HIV."
Applicants should have been asked if they had unprotected sex with a partner from a population group with high rates of HIV, which might also include a person from an African community. More usefully still, they could be asked if they had had regular HIV checks.
Human Rights Commission spokesman Gilbert Wong said the question implied homosexual activity was a risk area that would affect provision of insurance. "If the commission received a complaint about the question on this form, it would be likely to accept the complaint and attempt to resolve the issue," he said.