Kerre McIvor: Make the Grim Reaper work

Emergency services have to pick up the tragic pieces after boating accidents. Photo / APN

Years ago, at one of Brian Edwards and Judy Callingham's infamous Eastbourne parties, Bob Jones was holding forth on the reasons he refused to wear a seat belt when he was driving. His main objection was because he would not be told by the Government what to do - not even when it was in his own best interests.

It was his life, he thundered, and if he chose to put it at risk, then the Government be damned.

What about your family, one of us suggested. They might prefer you to be around. Bob was having none of that.

Bugger the lot of them, he exclaimed. They'd rather have my money and I've taken good care of them in my will.

What about the emergency services, I reasoned. What a bloody awful job having to pick up pieces of you through the windscreen and scattered along the road.

I'll put a codicil in my will, said Bob. Donate money to fire, police and ambulance so that they can have a few drinks on me. Anyway, it's their job. That's what they do.

And there the conversation ended. But to me it seemed like an enormous amount of effort to justify not clicking a seat belt. I was reminded of Bob this week when crusty old curmudgeons rang my talkback show complaining about a suggestion from the Auckland Council that all boaties be required to wear lifejackets while on the water.

It's only at the committee stage, but other regions have adopted the bylaw and Auckland looks like it may follow their lead. Some boaties were having none of that.

My dad and his brothers fought in the war and they didn't wear life jackets when we went out on the boat, said one man, in a non sequitur kind of justification.

Another man emailed me to say it would be like wearing a condom at all times, just in case you went in unexpectedly.

Others made the point that you could be killed crossing the road to get to the marina - it was all fate and nobody can control that.

And I understand that. I too believe that when your number's up, it's up.

But why make it easy for fate to get you? If an early death can be avoided, why not take the precautions?

Get those health checks, put on the seat belt, wear a lifejacket, especially now that lifejackets are slim and lightweight and not those cumbersome heavy old canvas ones.

Whenever I read stories of men going to sea in dreadful conditions, in a tiny tinny, with no lifejackets, flares or safety equipment, I don't see that as a tragedy. I see it as God's little pruning fork - a story with only one ending.

If you're absolutely determined that you won't be told what to do by governments or councils, that the sea is your domain and your boat is the one place you can be free, that it will never happen to you so you don't need to be worried - just do what Bob did.

Put some money in your will for the emergency services so that when they pick up your bloated, fish-eaten corpse they can drink away the memory of what they have had to deal with.