KEY POINTS:
A few years ago I was at the company Christmas party, and one of the managers started dancing with me and coming on to me in a big way," said Joanne, who did not want her full name published.
"I knew it was because he was drunk -
but I found it incredibly uncomfortable. I was young and new at the job, so I didn't want to do anything that would offend. I landed up dancing with him, but still trying to keep my distance. It was awful trying to get some distance from him as he tried to get up close and personal - I won't even mention the alcohol fumes.
"In the end, the manager paid for it though. His mother-in-law had friends at the workplace and they told her how he had behaved. There were huge ructions and, soon after, his wife left him."
This is just one nightmare scenario that has come out of company Christmas parties, even though they can be used for career growth rather than destruction.
Aly McNicoll, of the NZ Mentoring Centre, says Christmas parties are a golden opportunity to develop strategic relationships.
"Research has shown that the more engaged employees are likely to have a best friend at work."
She suggests that before the party, think about who you want to have a stronger relationship with - and spend time with them at the party.
"Rather than small talk, find out what people really care about. Go with questions. Find out their interests or issues. This makes for a deeper connection. Also be prepared to share things about who you are with others. Sharing your vulnerabilities helps others share theirs."
This applies to colleagues or those higher up in the company. "Sometimes it's good to make contact with people in other departments. Do some internal networking," McNicoll says.
Another piece of advice is: If you see someone who's been left out, include them in your group.
It helps create good connections. McNicoll says she has made some important contacts by doing just that.
Auckland counsellor John McEwan, who goes by the title Dr Stress, says people develop "personality disorders" at Christmas parties.
"They get drunk and often try to seduce co-workers.
"My suggestion is - go to the movies to watch people with such disorders - don't take them home with you.
"Alcohol, and sometimes drugs, taken at Christmas parties can open people to inappropriate relationships. Avoid this - or give counsellors a lot of work in the new year."
Also, if you relax too much, and have too much to drink, you can think you are bulletproof.
"This may make you drive drunk, or be vulnerable to crime if you are walking in the streets after the party."
As far as employers are concerned, McEwan says in the business environment at the moment, there is a feeling of uncertainty in the market.
"There's a sense of weirdness. What management has to do is to address this - allay fears. The Christmas party is a good time to do this."
A company that makes a big effort for their party is Tonkin & Taylor. "We do it incredibly well," says communications manager Pip Hair.
"Firstly, we pick an inclusive theme. We know some people like to dress up and some don't. So we do something where both are possible.
"We pay for taxis to and from the party, to make sure our employees are safe even if they do drink a bit."
Hair says the party is a "thank you" to employees.
People are encouraged to bring their partner or a friend if they're not attached. About 360 people are catered for. "Our staff range from in their 20s to their 70s - so their home circumstances will differ greatly."
Tonkin & Taylor choose their venue early in the year so they get the right one and make sure the party is scheduled for a Saturday - when all staff can attend.
The invitations are properly printed and handed out individually.
This year the theme is 'When the Lights Go Out in the Museum'. The venue is, of course, the Auckland Museum.
"The goodwill generated by our parties is phenomenal," says Hair.
McEwan suggests companies do mark Christmas. "It's a way of showing employees that they are valued."
However, he warns: "People have a short fuse for fake. You need to give employees a sense that they are appreciated. The cost of the party is not an issue, but the effort is."
Navigate your Xmas bash
* Do remember that Christmas parties are business events.
* Do act as though your behaviour is being observed every minute (because it probably is).
* Don't pass up the invitation to an office party.
* Don't use the office party as an excuse to blow off steam. It's still a company function, so proper etiquette and decorum matter.
* Don't bring the party lampshade, gag gifts for the boss, or any other crazy stuff you might do at a personal holiday party.
* Don't spend all evening talking business.
* Do keep all conversations positive and upbeat.
Source: Quintcareers.com
