It was the only point Abdallah Alayan's voice wavered - a slight crackle - as he described his last meeting with brother Atta Elayyan before the Christchurch massacre.
Atta was one of the 42 killed in the Al Noor mosque on March 15, and happened to be the starting goalkeeperfor the Futsal Whites indoor football team.
Abdallah, 12 years Atta's junior, remembers "vividly" the brothers having dinner in Auckland restaurant Lowbrow on March 12 - "just chomping" on their favourite dish, fried chicken.
Atta was picking up the tab for a very specific reason.
Abdallah Alayan (left), 21, with his brother Atta Elayyan, 33, who was killed in the Christchurch mosque terror attacks on March 15.
"He came up to visit me [in Auckland] on Monday evening and he left on Wednesday. So pretty much he set up camp at my apartment, going to various meetings back and forth, he was doing a presentation for one of his biggest clients," Abdallah said.
"We were just catching up on all things he'd been up to since I had seen him last. We had dinner together on Tuesday night at one of our favourite spots, and he was meant to cut my hair.
"Actually he's been cutting my hair my whole life and he forgot his kit in Christchurch, so he bought me dinner to sort of make up for that.
"It wasn't a goodbye, we didn't know it was a goodbye, but now that it was our last moment, I feel it was a really, really good way to enjoy my last experience with him. It was just us two, it was perfect.
Abdallah Alayan (left), 21, with his brother Atta Elayyan, 33, who was killed in the Christchurch mosque terror attacks on March 15.
"We walked back through the Auckland CBD after that, shared a bubble tea, went back to my apartment, chatted. The next morning I went to the airport to go to Queenstown."
Atta, 33, represented New Zealand in 19 times as goalkeeper for the Futsal Whites.
Born in Kuwait, Atta moved to New Zealand in 1995 along with his parents and sister. He leaves behind wife Farah and young daughter Aya.
His youngest brother Abdallah, 21, born in New Zealand, now lives between Christchurch and Auckland - where he is completing his architectural thesis at Auckland University.
Christchurch dead Atta Elayyan, 33, Killed in the Christchurch mosque shootings.
Abdallah and Atta's father was also injured in the Christchurch mosque attacks, being shot multiple times in the shoulder.
Abdallah said the day of March 15 was simply chaos as he and his sister frantically drove from Dunedin to Christchurch when they heard news of the attacks.
"We hopped in the car and drove for five hours and ended up arriving at 9-10pm at the hospital in Christchurch," Abdallah said.
"We had no clue what was going on. There was nothing confirmed at that point who was in hospital, who was alive, who had passed away, there was really no confirmation.
"When we arrived at the hospital neither of them were on the patient list that was available, and there was a good amount, up to 20 patients who were anonymous patients.
"So we were just holding hope for both of them to be on that anonymous patient list. More my brother than my father, because we had already spoken to my father.
Abdallah says eventually around 3am the full list of patients being treated at Christchurch Hospital the night of March 15 was released.
"Only my father was on that list. At that moment we came to the realisation my brother was probably still left at the mosque," he says.
"There was very little hope that we had at that point that there'd be any other outcome.
"That room has some significantly dark memories in it because we were also up in that room for the earthquakes."
Aside from his passion for football, Atta was also one of the country's best tech developers, running his own Christchurch-based firm LWA Solutions.
Abdallah said his brother had been a "mentor throughout life" for him, and was one of "most well rounded people" he knew.
"I'm the youngest child and both my parents are in their 60s, so he actually took the role of being a fatherly figure for quite some time," Abdallah said.
"It was probably just in the last five years that we did start to become brothers and best friends. For him, he essentially taught me everything through his mistakes, and gave me advice based on the things he'd already been through.
"He always wanted to be the best at everything he applied himself to. My journey in life has been so much easier thanks to his guidance."
