James Griffin. Photo / Dean Purcell
In and among the many terrible and tragic headlines appearing in the newspapers of late, one that is not only terrible and tragic but also potentially rather disturbing leapt out at me: "Call for alcohol ban after Xmas concert ends in violence."
The headline refers to how the Christmas in
the Park concert in Christchurch ended up with a whole bunch of people getting arrested after they got drunk and started fighting.
There are obviously many things wrong with this picture: that a Christmas concert, presumably consisting mainly of nice, wholesome, family-friendly light-entertainers belting out the standard repertoire of Christmas carols to, also presumably, an audience of Mum, Dad and the kids; that this can somehow end in a drunken brawl is special - even by Christchurch standards. You want a picture of just how terrible and tragic our binge-drinking culture has become? Here it is.
But there are potentially darker, more disturbing forces at work here - again, I'm not just talking about the fact this is Christchurch we're talking about here. For what if the Christchurch concert stoush wasn't just a few lads getting hammered in Hagley Park and getting into a bout of fisticuffs? What if this, in fact, was the dawning of a much more violent approach to Christmas as a whole?
What if Christmas, for example, is on the verge of becoming the new football hooliganism? It is possible to imagine (well, at least if you're me) that tribes will spring up supporting each of Santa's reindeer and fighting pitched street battles at events like Christmas in the Park with rival tribes who support other reindeer. Santa parades up and down the country will ring with the taunts of rival groups of reindeer supporters: "Blitzen, Blitzen, kick your bits in", "Prancer is a poof, he takes it up the hoof", "we are strong, we are Dasher, mess with us and we'll smash ya". There will undoubtedly be a group of drunken yobbos calling themselves something along the lines of the Barmy Elves who will sing a very rude ditty about how Rudolf's nose is red from sticking it up Santa's bum, before biffing bottles at the Santa float.
