KEY POINTS:
Easter is obviously a very important time of year for Christians and sideshow operators alike, but how did it all come about? And how has the concept of Easter changed over the past 2000 years? It could be argued that nowadays Jesus, the son of man, has been
eclipsed by the Easter Bunny as the true symbol of Easter, and that Passover supper in most households has been replaced by feasting on Easter eggs and hot-cross buns. It would be very easy to blame the Americans for this as they are internationally recognised as the superpower of bad taste.
But many of these more contemporary Easter icons have been around longer than you think.
Many may find it blasphemous for me to suggest that the Easter Bunny is a more powerful symbol of Easter than Jesus, but most scholars, myself included, now believe that Jesus and the Easter Bunny are in all likelihood one and the same.
Dan Brown, author of the controversial The Da Vinci Code agrees that Jesus and the Easter Bunny may, in fact, be one and the same. Rumour has it that he is working on a new book that will prove it. Tom Hanks has already been slated to play the lead role should there be a movie.
When it was evening, Jesus sat down at the table with the 12 disciples. While they were eating, he said: "One of you will betray me!"
One by one, each asked Jesus if he would be the one who betrayed him. Jesus, as usual, responded with vague, riddle-like words that sound good together, but make little sense - a little like Sting lyrics. This didn't surprise the disciples as they had become accustomed to never really getting a straight answer from Jesus.
Judas, the one who would betray him, also asked, "Teacher, I'm not the one, am I?" And Jesus told him, "Talk's cheap, Judas."
As they were eating, Jesus took bread and asked God's blessing on it. Then he broke it into pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, "Take it and eat it, for this is my body."
And he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God. They were hoping for a glass each but, as can happen, the disciples had forgotten that bottle stores and taverns closed early on Good Friday. It would be fair to say that nobody ever got too merry at one of Jesus' functions, and lost scrolls recently found in the hills overlooking Galilee testify that always having to drink out of the one cup was one of the things the disciples despised most about the Jesus years. The recently translated scriptures stopped just short of calling him a tight arse!
Jesus then did something that was, for obvious reasons, omitted from the Bible. For dramatic effect he reached under the table and donned a sheepskin costume designed to symbolise a lamb to the slaughter. This would have been a powerful image had Judas not destroyed the moment by returning from a Jericho costume-hire store with a rabbit suit instead of that of a sheep.
The disciples found it hard to take Jesus seriously while he was wearing the costume-hire bunny suit, but Jesus - ever the showman - improvised.
After dinner they sang a hymn and broke three large chocolate eggs from Caana into pieces. Jesus passed the chocolate around and they all enjoyed it - except Peter who had type 2 diabetes and Paul who somehow managed to get some Easter egg foil wrapping stuck on a sensitive tooth. They ate their eggs in the garden.
Matthew tells us that later that night Judas, who was accompanied by some soldiers sent by the high priests, betrayed Jesus. At first they were unable to find Jesus so they had to hunt the garden for him. This became the first official Easter egg hunt, and had it not been for Paul's constant wailing because of his toothache, Jesus may never have been captured at all.
Before long Jesus was on trial before the Roman Governor Pilate.
In front of a large Easter show crowd, Pilate asked Jesus some straight forward questions like: are you the son of man? Are you the Son of God? And are you the Easter Bunny? Or at least the son of him?
Jesus, as usual was unable to give a straight answer, and his answering a question with a question infuriated Pilate. It probably didn't help that Jesus was still wearing the costume-hire rabbit suit.
Pilate was able to pardon one prisoner so he asked the masses who they would have released, Jesus or the notorious criminal Barabas?
They shouted back "we want the rabbit, we want the rabbit!"
Pilate, who was a little hard of hearing, misheard their chants as "we want Barabas" and promptly released Barabas. Jesus, as we know, was sentenced to death.
