KEY POINTS:
Well it's finally here, the stocking filler you have all been waiting for, MTN or Moon TV Series 5, the DVD.
Now before you say it, or even think it, I am well aware that this column already has the hallmarks of nothing more than a crass, last-minute advertisement for my new DVD, and why wouldn't you?
That's exactly what the editor said.
I am also well aware that under all manner of regulations within the Herald on Sunday, this is probably a gross misappropriation of funds, and it probably even violates the new electoral funding laws, but I am quite prepared to forget all that, and if questioned I will simply blame an inexperienced member of my staff and hang them out to dry.
On initial inspection, this DVD looks just like any other, as it is circular and has a hole in the middle. But once you put it into your player and it starts spinning you realise it has so much more to offer.
The DVD features every episode from the award-winning series that recently aired on TV2, plus there is a bonus episode called the MTN Christmas Special.
Well, not really, as it aired as part of the rest of the series in June, but it certainly has a Christmas feel.
We have made a point of not loading the thing up with pointless bonus footage or out-takes because at the end of the day we didn't have any.
All the good bits went into the original programme, and it was just the s*** bits left, so why stick them in?
We have spared no expense with the packaging on this one. The paper for the DVD slick is glossy and of the finest grade, sourced from non-renewable trees in South America, and I think you will all agree once you handle the cover itself you can really feel the difference. You can certainly smell it.
When you have a moment to yourself, I invite you to sniff the packaging, let your imagination wander and be transported to the Amazonian rainforest, where you can inhale the aroma of an authentic coffee plantation, and hear the sounds of children working there blend in with the rich cacophony of sounds from the abundant wildlife that once lived in the forest canopy.
Once again we have run with a plastic case to harness the DVD itself but the grade of plastic is second to none, recycled from the dashboards of the finest European cars.
The DVD cases are worth three times more than the DVDs themselves, which is why we give you the option of just buying the case.
Obviously we expect to sell a hell of a lot of DVDs by Christmas but we really make our money on the cases as we predict these will outsell the DVDs by two to one.
So just how do you get one of these DVD cases, or even the DVD itself?
Well, by purchasing the DVD case at The Warehouse you will get the DVD absolutely free. But wait - there's more!
The first 10 people to write in to moontv.co.nz and say they saw this blatant promotion in the Herald on Sunday will be given one of these DVDs in the super case absolutely FREE!
But wait - there's even more. The first person to write in will not only win the DVD but they will get to spend the day with me when I write my next column. They will witness first-hand the entire process from conception through to spellchecking, dispatch and the weekly wrap party.
To win a DVD, go online to moontv.co.nz, or alternatively you can purchase one in the traditional manner from our good friends at The Warehouse, where all top DVDs are sold.
