KEY POINTS:
There are many troubling questions about the imposition of the death penalty on Saddam Hussein, the pre-eminent one being whether or not the hanging will be televised. I sincerely hope it is.
Surely we have the right to watch Saddam stand at the gallows, an Arab in a hood, a fitting symbol of our times, waiting to be martyred?
After all, it is a legitimate punishment passed by what we are assured is a legitimate court, so clearly the execution of the execution shouldn't be concealed from the eyes of the world, as if it were somehow a squalid little incident in a sordid little conflict.
And think of the ratings.
Saddam, naturally, appeared a little perturbed at the prospect of being hanged, as his preference was for the formal dignity of the firing squad.
Regrettably, this option was refused him by the court, as it's a punishment reserved for military officers; and while Saddam was the head of the Iraqi Armed Forces, he failed his entry exam to the Military Academy and only attained the position after he was appointed to it, by himself.
I suspect he wishes he'd applied himself to his studies a little more, rather than concentrate on distractions like fermenting revolution, and gassing any Kurds who were in his way.
There is also the question of the style of hanging to be employed.
Will it be administered via the Drop Method, whereby a carefully calculated degree of fall is intended to break the neck of the accused, or at least render him unconscious, so as not to cause undue suffering?
The drawback here is that if the condemned person drops too far he can be decapitated, which, although generally effective at dispatching him, is considered unsightly, and is thus not an overly desirable outcome.
Alternately it could be carried out via the Suspension Method.
Here, the accused has the rope placed around his neck before being hoisted into the air by a crane, a tank barrel, or for those without access to machinery, a pulley.
This method results in an infinitely more agonising death by strangulation, and is favoured by Iraq's neighbour, that doyen of human rights in the area, Iran.
The Iranians have a predilection for applying the Suspension Method to those who commit crimes against humanity, including such reprobates as teenagers accused of homosexuality, adulterers, and unchaste young women.
The decision, of course, must be made by April 28, 2007, whereupon Saddam will turn 70 and will be officially too old to be executed in Iraq. It's cheering to know that amidst the carnage of their shattered nation they retain such respect for their elderly.
Many must be thankful that hanging isn't an option here, especially those who decided that students can use text-speak to answer exams, and more particularly, those in charge of ensuring that a certain 60,000-seat stadium materialises for the Rugby World Cup.
No doubt a few people will be in danger of being strung up if it doesn't.
