Sideswipe

Spotted in a village in Sussex, England.

A beer brand buys Wednesday nights on Sky 1: "We've never heard of a brand hijacking a TV station and its programming," says Tui brand manager Ben Shaw. "Basically, it's Tui hooking the boys up with what they want to see on TV." And that would be old Seinfeld and South Park episodes, a documentary about a porn star and crank-calling puppets voiced by famous celebs. All linked to by these lads from a set in a Mangatainoka flat, which is more like a studio in Auckland. One question: Since Tui has thrown cash at Sky 1 for an evening line-up of shows they would probably be showing anyway, will Sky customers be getting a discount? Wait for it ... Yeah right.

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Predictably, a fan of Kids Fair writes: "I took my grandson, aged 11, to the fair on Sunday. We parked in One Tree Hill Domain, so no parking fees and some pleasant exercise to get there. We arrived early so avoided the crowds. My grandson enjoyed himself immensely progressing from stall to stall where he took part in small competitions to win food samples. He left with two small boxes of cereal, three apples, one megamilk, three fruit drinks, three rice wheels and various other items. Not to mention the free food he consumed while walking around. Sausages seemed to dominate. After all this he played various games on the computers available ... we left after two hours, having had a great morning out for $25."

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J. Sowry of Warkworth writes: "Unfortunately, the aeronautical whiz-kids who fly paper darts from the 10th floor of a downtown building (featured in Monday's Sideswipe) will never find employment in the RNZAF working on next- generation high performance aircraft. Helen won't allow the RNZAF to purchase such aircraft - they could be used in a war, or in the defence of our country."

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Bereft of crazy animal antics, Sunday night's One News went for a geek and his homemade motorised couch. The story featured engineer Clinton Cossey who made a motorised two-seater couch with a top speed of 30km/h (downhill with a tail wind) and who, while taking it for a burn through the streets of Howick, was followed by the police helicopter. He was duly warned for using an unregistered vehicle on the road. After all the hype, Clinton would like to sell it for as much money as possible so he can make other mad, motorised stuff. The couch is on Trade Me with a current top bid of $1500 - much more worthy than a skanky handbag or a gold-digger's togs.

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Next thing you know, they'll be eating them. A restaurant in Vicenza, Italy, has been fined $860 for displaying lobsters on ice to entice customers. A court ruled that was a form of animal abuse. (Source: reason.com)