Sideswipe

Chris Dixon found these instructions on a box of ceramic tiles imported from China.

A reader fond of window shopping writes: Briscoes has gone all Martha Stewart in dressing up the windows at its new upmarket offering, Urban Loft, in downtown Auckland. Style and sophistication, darling. In one window, a racy boudoir with the Trelise Cooper touch; New York Party Girls the theme of another, designed by the Herald's Viva team; while the blurb describing the third treatment - a table setting for six with a centrepiece fishbowl - waxes about taking its inspiration from Soul restaurant on the waterfront. The goldfish represents the movement of the people and boats in the Viaduct Harbour. If only the big orange swimmer hadn't stopped swimming. No movement in that belly-up pose. An unintended tabletop tragedy, or perhaps a sad commentary on the water quality of the Viaduct?

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Two teenagers are accusing each other of assaulting each other by haircut. An 18-year-old Des Moines East High School student told police that another teenager came up behind her with a pair of scissors and began cutting her hair. The student claimed that when she tried to get the scissors away from her attacker she was cut on her hand and face. The female suspect claimed it was the other student who picked up the scissors and began furiously cutting her hair. The suspect was missing "a large quadrant of hair from the front of her head", according to a police report.

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In a letter to the staff of the Mad Butcher, New Lynn, Eric Shadbolt writes: "While I admit that you drawing pictures on my windscreen in cooking oil while I was having lunch was amusing, even funny, what was not funny was when I tried to wipe it off while driving, my wipers smeared it all across the windscreen preventing me from seeing the car in front of me and almost resulting in a serious accident. I hope that you give up this silly game."

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A reader noticed all the raised tree surrounds in Nuffield St have got large plastic safety barriers surrounding them. Is this an admission that there is a design fault and they are not safe?

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A rabbit has survived unhurt after spending a week under the bonnet of a Ford Mondeo. Jon Llewlyn, 34, had spotted the wild bunny hopping near his car. After he arrived at his home in Gloucestershire, he noticed its fluffy head poking out of the front grill, reports the Mirror. Jon tried to coax the rabbit out but it disappeared. Then days later, after driving 95km, Jon found the rabbit was still under the bonnet. The AA dismantled the engine and found the bunny under the gearbox. (Source: Ananova.com)