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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Wednesday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
13 May, 2008 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

A reader writes: "This note was left on my mum's Toyota Rav4 last week. The note writer had the cheek to hit her parked car then leave this note! It cost $450 to fix, but we have gained a laugh from this stupid, angry note."

The complete note
reads: "The scratch on your door is punishment for having absurdly + dangerously high bull bars, which reached out and broke my tail-light [illegible] above my bumper."

* * *
Betty Studd of Takapuna says: "When the spelling genes were given out, I must have been behind a door. I received a lovely potted plant from my son, who lives in Wellington, via his sister up here. I emailed him to thank him and told him how delighted I was with his gift and how I'd often admired them but never bought one. His reply? "Hi mum, no worries, an "orchard" eh? I only asked her to buy an orchid - not looking forward to the bill."

* * *

Paul Milner took an early morning flight on Pacific Blue last Friday and noticed staff added some personal flair to their on-board announcements:

"We at Pacific Blue pride ourselves in having some of the best flight crew and cabin staff in the world - unfortunately they couldn't be with us today ... "

" ... in the event that oxygen is needed masks will drop. To operate, pull the mask down - stop screaming - and fit the mask ... "

" ... pull the tags to inflate the vest ... there is also a whistle and a light to attract attention - of sharks."

" ... no smoking anywhere on the plane even in the toilet where there is a smoke detector and an alarm - and a video camera."

"Did anyone notice those naughty passengers who didn't wait for the plane to stop before leaving their seats? We now ask those people to kindly leave the plane."

" ... your luggage is being unloaded and will be available once we have gone through it and removed anything of value."

* * *

Dorothy Simpson suffers from an irregular heartbeat that gives her an increased chance of heart failure and stroke. Her doctor recommended surgery. But Britain's National Health Service rejected the doctor's request, saying the 61-year-old was too old. After the media began inquiring, the NHS decided Simpson wasn't too old after all. (Source: Reason.com)

* * *

Karla Rae Morris told Canada's Sun newspaper: "Obviously, this is not as important as helping starving kids in Africa." Her benefactors who had donated money so that she could afford breast implants via MyFreeImplants.com, just want to help out, she says. "It's like donating to any charity," said Morris, of her donors. "You feel like you're doing good." (Source: Newsoftheweird.com)

* * *

Miriam Lynch toured the East Cape 10 years ago and that same sign reported in SideSwipe yesterday was outside that church then. "Must be a different generation of penguins under the baptismal font these days!" she says.

Today's Webpick: The British series on the worlds most notorious gangs, fronted by Ross Kemp (best known for playing a thug on British soap Eastenders) which screened on TV One, includes an episode in New Zealand. But before Mongrel Mob members would agree to be filmed, they signed a contract with the British producers preventing the episode from screening here. The whole episode however, is available online. Watch it here.

These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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