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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe</i>: Wednesday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
3 Jun, 2008 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

Alan spotted this hazard at Unitec campus, Mt Albert: "Some district authorities prefer this solution to cutting the drooping branch which routinely attacks tall vehicles. Several buses have been caught under it, one cherry picker demolished, a tip truck tailgate was popped off when a heavy duty scaffolding pole leaning over the cab was buckled, and several fire trucks have been claimed. At each incident more bark damage occurs, to say nothing of damage to vehicles. The pole installer, when asked (tongue firmly in cheek) what would happen if people bumped into the pole, promptly painted it yellow. Meanwhile, the reign of terror continues."

* * *

A reader from Westmere writes: "Am I the only one appalled by the Shell-Ferrari TV ad which shows a succession of racing cars ripping through cities from Paris to Rio? The ad, which reportedly cost $5 million to make, is based on selling Shell's new brand (wait for it), V-power. Gas is topping two bucks a litre and carbon emissions are slowly choking the life out of the planet, and an oil company decides to push the idea of power with a 12-cylinder car doing 300km/h. What planet are these people living on? I'm buying my gas elsewhere. To hell with the FlyBuys."

* * *

Funniest CV blunders:

Candidate included a letter from his mother.

Candidate included family medical history.

Candidate's previous job: "Service for old man to check they are still alive or not."

Candidate wrote: "Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with."

Candidate used coloured paper and drew glitter designs around the border.

Candidate wrote: "I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone's door to absorb as much as possible."

Candidate wrote: "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."

Candidate wrote: "I'm a hard worker, etc."

Candidate outlined their language skills as "Speak English and Spinach".

Candidate overdoes it: "I have technical skills that will take your breath away."

Candidate wrote: "28 dog years of experience in sales (four human)."
(Source: jobmob.co.il)

* * *

The reader who made faces and did the fingers to someone she thought was her brother at LynnMall reminded Aviv of Kerikeri of her similar, but more hands-on, faux pas. "I was wandering through my local New World. I spied, from behind, a good friend of mine perusing the chocolate. Knowing her to be on a sugar-free diet, I went up behind her, slapped her on the butt and said "Move AWAY from the chocolate!" The lady looked an awful lot like my friend, but unfortunately didn't see the funny side."

Today's Webpick: Before the iPod, there was The Music Vest, a waterproof, all-in-one 1980s sound system and fashion garment. Cool bananas. Watch it here.

These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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