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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Wednesday

By Ana Samways
15 May, 2007 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Another well-intentioned road sign gets a hiding.

Another well-intentioned road sign gets a hiding.

Opinion

KEY POINTS:

Made-up Words of the Week: Multislacking: performing multiple slacker-esque tasks concurrently. Among activities that qualify: checking your MySpace page, surfing Wikipedia, chatting, and half-watching random videos on YouTube.
Embiggen: to make more admirable or great.
Testosterphone: to make a quick and to-the-point phone call that lasts less than 30 seconds.
Cubicle
speed: any caffeine-laden food or energy drink used to stay awake in a modern office.
Check your vitals: to check your email, myspacepage, blog, and/or any daily essential websites.
Floordrobe: a form of storage for clothing which requires no hangers, drawers, doors or effort. Drop the garment on the floor and you have a floordrobe.
Mantastic: feeling fantastic after the successful completion of a particularly macho feat.

* * *

A physiotherapist writes: "A few years ago I had somebody come to me with low back pain. When he took his shirt off, his back was hairy from top to bottom. A few days later he returned for a follow-up visit. This time when he took his shirt off I noticed that the hair around his lower spine was missing. I asked him what had happened. He said he had been getting his wife to rub Voltaren gel on his lower back at night. One night after his wife had rubbed the gel in, he felt a burning sensation in his lower back so thought she must have rubbed Deep Heat into his back. The burning got worse so he switched on the light to find his wife had used her Veet hair-removing cream."

* * *

A reader writes: "When celebrating my 26th birthday recently, I received a birthday card from my eight-year-old sister with the following message written inside: 'Dear Emma, I hope you had a lovely birthday. You have been a lovely sister in your young age. I will miss your youngness. It's a shame you are old. Love Sina."'

* * *

A woman in Wisconsin will not be charged after calling 911 for a babysitter. The mother of triplets thought the TV show "Nanny 911" was a commercial for a service that offers babysitters through 911. On the call, she is heard sighing, saying: "I need a babysitter". She also said she needed some company. When the operator explained 911 wasn't a helpline service, she hung up.

* * *

A reader writes: "In my hometown of Dargaville, Mr Hooton and Mr Aitken were in partnership as dentists, Hooton and Aitken. When Mr Aitken moved on after many years Mr Shedden joined the practice and the practice became Hooton and Shedden. True."

Each day Sideswipe will link to a humorous, satirical or simply strange video clip selected from the infinite amount of nothingness hosted on YouTube and the like. The very best online videos will be carefully chosen and hosted on Ana's online magazine Spare Room and shared with Sideswipe readers. Today's Video Webpick: This clip is of a U.S. Wheel of Fortune contestant stuffing up big time. Bigger than 'I'll have an O for Awesome'…Watch it here.
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