KEY POINTS:
Shona Bull from Coromandel writes: Some time ago we spied what looked like a tennis ball on our roof. It turned out to be a bright green budgie, which we managed to catch and put in a cage. The local radio station helped us with its Pets -
Lost and Found programme, and eventually there came a knock on our front door. There stood two tiny, stooped, elderly people, who appeared very excited about the prospect of their lost bird being found. They came inside and looked long and hard at the budgie, calling it by name and turning towards each other to confer in whispers. At last they came to a decision. "No", they said, "we don't think it's our budgie." "Are you sure?" we asked. "We think it's probably not ours," they replied mournfully. "You see, our budgie is blue and yours is green."
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A reader from Mt Eden writes: When my husband proposed, the question on everyone's lips was, "Will you be taking his last name?" After much thought and to the amusement of many I decided that I would. You see, I was born Tui Gordon (Beer Gin) but now that I'm married, I am Tui Speight. And no, we will not be calling our children DB, Lion Red or Steinlager - although Heineken has a certain ring to it!
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John Riley of Edgecumbe writes: My partner and I were recently involved in the committee for the Whakatane Police Charity Fishing Tournament and there was a lot of consternation regarding a missing trophy. The previous year's winner proved elusive as he was an out-of-towner with the same moniker as a local fellow. In the meantime all hands were to the pumps, so to speak, looking for a cup. A certain lady pulled out some pics one day and lo, there was the trophy! A shield, not a cup, and it had been hanging in the local police meeting room for all to see during several meetings.
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When working in Korea some years ago, Ray Gilbert was shopping for a new car and asked his secretary to find out the difference between a manual and automatic, meaning the price difference. "However, she took me literally and, after due consultation with the car dealer, wrote me a memo stating that 'the automatic has no crutch'."
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While eyeing the packet of meat in the supermarket cooler for his evening meal, Caludio Soster was aware of an attractive lady alongside also making a selection. "In true gentlemanly fashion I stepped back to allow her to choose first. She chose the piece of meat I'd wanted. I turned away, and wandered down an aisle with my trolley, only to be interrupted by her anxiously waving out to me. I eagerly waited her approach but she was accusing me of taking her trolley! As if I would! But imagine my surprise when I looked down at my trolley to find a wide-eyed 6-month-old baby staring up at me."
