KEY POINTS:
Holy water! The ongoing con that is the bottled water enterprise is now targeting followers of the God brand. Spiritual Water, the faith-inspired venture of two Florida businessmen, offers its drinkers clearer focus, positive thinking and connection to a higher power. Its message is delivered in a 500ml
plastic bottle that sells for US$2 ($2.60). The 11 bottles in the company's collection bear prayers in English and Spanish and impressively detailed images of Jesus Christ, St Michael and the Virgin Mary, plus standard nutritional facts - zero calories, fat, sodium, carbohydrates, protein. Product varieties include Power Water with the Apostles' Creed, Strength Water featuring the Serenity prayer and Essential Water with the Guardian Angel prayer. "We are trying to connect people with God, not take advantage of people," say the company's owners, adding that 10 per cent of profits will go to charity.
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A reader writes: "My wife and I have been very loyal BNZ customers for over 30 years. Two weeks ago I had a call from the BNZ asking would I answer some survey questions. Amongst myriad questions, I was asked what could BNZ do for us to recognise our ongoing long-term relationship? I suggested perhaps the issue of a BNZ Platinum Visa Card, without fees, to loyal oldies would be seen as something special and wouldn't really cost them anything as we, like most superannuitants, pay off the full balance every month. The BNZ staff member thought this a really brilliant idea and planned to suggest it to the powers that be. A few days later we received in the post - wait for it - three standard BNZ logo pens (as used at the counters) with an unsigned 'With Compliments' slip!"
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Message a reader spotted on a church door while travelling towards East Cape: "You are most welcome to enter this church. Please excuse the fishy smell. We have a whanau of penguins nesting under the floorboards of the baptismal font and mother penguin is busy bringing fish to feed her little whanau. Please close the door on leaving because of possum damage."
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Las Vegas judge Elizabeth Halverson, 50, has been suspended from the bench and accused of misusing her position. Her former bailiff, for example, says Halverson made him feel like a "houseboy". He says the judge - who is obese and uses a motorised scooter to get around - made him put her shoes on her feet, massage her back, cover her with a blanket for naps and make sure her oxygen tank was filled. He says she asked him, "Do you want to worship me from near or afar?" She is also said to have had her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath whether he had done chores at home. (Source: CNN.com)
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A couple of years ago Michelle Dunn had an accident at home and could not move. "I had two children under 3 in the house and my 3-year-old got the hand-held phone for me. The wonderful St John Ambulance man on the end of the phone just kept reassuring me, but what got me through the pain was the sound of the sirens getting closer and closer. I understand what the previous writer is saying but they [ambulances] are going to an emergency and from a patient point of view, it really helped me to stay calm until they arrived."
Today's Webpick: This hilarious clip from the BBC show, Mock The Week, has a go at an easy target. Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Watch it here. And then send it to Mum.
These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
