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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Tuesday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
8 Sep, 2008 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

Sandy was driving to work one morning and saw this on the car in front. I wonder how long it had been there?

* * *

Roger Bowden of Motueka sent in these rules from Aberfeldy Water Mill, Scotland, written in 1852, after reading about the new laws
requiring breaks for workers. Needless to say things were a bit different back then.

1. Godliness, Cleanliness and Punctuality are the necessities of a good business.

2. This firm has reduced the hours of work, and the Clerical Staff will now only have to be present between the hours of 7am and 6pm on weekdays.

3. Daily prayers will be held each morning in the Main Office.

4. The Clerical Staff will not disport themselves in raiment of bright colours; nor will they wear hose, unless in good repair.

5. Overshoes and top-coats may not be worn in the office, but neck scarves and headwear may be worn in inclement weather.

6. A stove is provided for the benefit of the Clerical Staff. Coal and Wood must be kept in the locker. It is recommended that each member of the Clerical Staff bring 4lbs of coal each day during cold weather.

7. No member of the Clerical Staff may leave the room without permission from Mr. Rodger. The calls of nature are permitted and Clerical Staff may use the garden below the second gate.

8. No talking is allowed during business hours.

9. The craving of tobacco, wines and spirits is a human weakness and, as such, is forbidden to all members of the Clerical Staff.

10. Now that [business hours] have been drastically cut, the partaking of food is allowed between 11.30am and noon, but work will not, on any account, cease.

* * *

A burglar who broke into a California home rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used a sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out the house. Fresno County sheriff deputy lieutenant Ian Burrimond said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks. He had left his wallet with his ID in the house.

* * *

A miffed reader writes: "I was at Glenfield Shopping mall and I had just parked up when a security guard comes knocking on my window. Apparently a lady complained that I looked suspicious and dodgy. I have my bank-branded uniform on, sitting in my Black HSV Holden and am of Samoan descent. Gee that pee'd me off; especially when the dobbing woman walked past and gave me a filthy look. I've had a few people mistake me for a cop, but never a criminal."

* * *

A reader writes: "On Lincoln Road [Henderson], just before the motorway on ramp, National have an advertising billboard: 'More Doctors, More Nurses, Less Bureaucrats.' The grammatical error ('less' rather than 'fewer') would be more humorous were they espousing their education policy".

Today's Webpick: The Tiddy Bear seat belt attachment is ridiculous... and it's real. Watch it in action here.

These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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