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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Tuesday

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
17 Nov, 2008 03:00 PM3 mins to read

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Sign at Brookfield New World in Tauranga.

Sign at Brookfield New World in Tauranga.

KEY POINTS:

A Californian wine maker tells it like it is.

* * *

Things I Didn't Know Until I Had Kids:

1. How many seconds it takes to microwave four fish fingers perfectly.
2. The design marvel that is Velcro-strap shoes.
3. Locations of public toilets all across town.
4. The fine
art of vacuuming without hosing up a Barbie shoe or pieces of Lego.
5. How little sleep a human body truly needs to function.
6. How to retrieve something from a toddler's nostril (fine tweezers or by sucking).
7. Scientific names of dinosaurs.
8. How far you can dilute juice and still retain its taste.

(Source: Miscellinia.com)

* * *

Mike was at the traffic lights on Lincoln Rd on Saturday, when a carload of young men pulled up behind him. "As I watched in my rear mirror, the driver proceeded to take a large drink from a VB can [beer]. I rang *555 [police communications]. The communications person informed me that "it's not against the law to drink alcohol while driving. Only driving under the influence of alcohol is illegal". I would have thought that once you have taken a drink of alcohol, you are now under the influence of sorts. So, next time you are pulled over for having a drink in the car, offer the police a drink as well. You won't be arrested for it."

* * *

Local body politics turns nasty: Police in Cobb County in the US state of Georgia said that County Commissioner Annette Kesting had asked a local "high voodoo priestess" to perform a "death ritual" on her longtime political rival Woody Thompson ("cancer" or a "car accident" preferred). The priestess acknowledged helping Kesting on some "family" issues, by sacrificing three hens and a rooster, but said she would never help to take a human life. (Source: News of the Weird)

* * *

Grassroots marketing: According to Britney Spears' official website, a fan from Krakow, Poland, plans to single-handedly promote the upcoming release of Brit's new album Circus. The devoted fan explains: "Here in Poland, they don't promote new CDs ... So that's why I've decided to start doing my own promotion. I've printed about 50 copies of that promotional Circus poster and I started to stick it everywhere in my city. Maybe you could spread some word on your site about this idea, so that people everywhere will start doing the same thing. Let's make Brit #1 everywhere in the world!" (Source: Radaronline.com)

* * *

Today's Webpick: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Occassionally, through exploitation of young or stupid people, reality TV offers moments of unintentional comedic genius. Watch it here.

These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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