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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe</i>: Thursday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
8 Aug, 2007 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

Elise Hansen, of Ruakaka, says 4-year-old Nicholas told her this tall but apparently true story. "At the weekend, his dad went out fishing in the Whangarei Harbour and caught a wild pig. Yes, a wild pig was swimming across the harbour from the Whangarei Heads, heading towards the refinery. Today, I saw the proof by way of a photo. The pig is now hanging in the chiller at home."

* * *

Sex doesn't always sell and size doesn't necessarily matter. That can be the only conclusion drawn from the sterile public notice in the New Zealand Herald last Friday recording the demise of Big Erections Ltd, now in liquidation.

* * *

How the mighty have fallen: Film director Ridley Scott (Gladiator, Blade Runner, Thelma & Louise) has confirmed that he may direct a film based on Monopoly - the board game. Just how the drawn-out property game will be made into celluloid magic isn't clear - a rags-to-riches yarn maybe? Scott tells the Timesonline: "Monopoly is still the most popular board game in the world. That funny way your uncle is when he suddenly gets Park Lane. You watch people change. Somewhere in that is a hysterically amusing and, I think, rather exciting film." Kirsten Dunst and Scarlett Johansson are rumoured to be involved. "Johansson will no doubt play some blonde bombshell sashaying down Park Lane with a property investor in tow as a dishevelled Dunst character uses her 'get out of jail free' card after a wild night boozing with her rocker boyfriend before turning over a new leaf," quips the Timesonline's Francesca Steele.

* * *

Britain in the 21st century is best represented by a multicultural society, "chavs" (antisocial males wearing US hip-hop fashion, like TV's Ali G.) and model Kate Moss, says a survey. Harper's Bazaar surveyed 1000 people and found that "old Britain" is epitomised by a stiff upper lip, impeccable manners and wartime leader Winston Churchill. The research also found that mashed potato is the nation's favourite comfort food while the countryside, the British sense of humour and a cup of tea is what Britons miss most when they travel abroad. The weather was a problem for 91 per cent of respondents. (Source: Guardian)

* * *

Andrew writes: "They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but some rugby fans go too far. First they rip off soccer chants (somehow 'Ooh, ahh Cantona' became 'Ooh ahh Umaga') , then they pinch the idea of having giant outdoor televisions for the 2011 Rugby World Cup and now I see in Wednesday's Sideswipe that some wag has taken a popular joke email about Chuck Norris and simply replaced his name with that of Ritchie McCaw. Genius. How long before rugby players are wearing brightly coloured, tight-fitting shirts and hugging after they score a try? Too late."

Today's Video Webpick:Before pole/lap dancers there were the Solid Gold Dancers: A compilation of the steamiest/cheesiest dance routines from 1980. Watch it here. Scroll down. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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