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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Super city, super church

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
5 Nov, 2009 03:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Leaving no revenue stream untapped, Destiny Church deftly passes the plate on its website by encouraging people to pay to access the site's content through a VIP Club. For a $25 joining fee and $8 a week, members can download all of Bishop Brian Tamaki's messages, gain access to the Pastors Lounge in Auckland, get a discount off merchandise, reserved seating and preferential free parking at the annual Destiny Church conference.

* * *

Gordon was out looking for his axe to split some wood for the fire. He couldn't find it anywhere, and after searching for about an hour he went inside for an inspiring cup of tea. "I asked my wife if she had moved the axe. Yes, she said, she put it in the little storage hut under the water tank stand. I asked why. Her explanation: Because when an axe murderer comes he'll have to bring his own axe and not use ours."

* * *

Also in the unnecessary txt category, Ross just received this txt from a mechanic: Hi, your vehicle is due for a warrant of fitness on 27/01/2010. "Good thing they reminded me. I might have forgotten over the next 83 days."

* * *

His teacher said he would give him an A if he ate a dead fly. So he did. Stephen Zeldag, a student in El Dorado Hills, California, said his algebra teacher crushed a fly between his hands during class and dared any of his students to eat it. "He said, 'If anybody eats this fly then I will give them an A on this test'," Stephen said. He volunteered and swallowed the fly, sealing the deal with a handshake with his teacher. Unfortunately for Stephen, his teacher reneged on the deal and he didn't get his A.

* * *

The story of the Bayflight International fleet of Cessna 152s pictured in Sideswipe this week gets even better. "Being a past student of the Walsh Memorial Scout Flying School," a reader writes, "I know that they at least had several more. From memory, their total line-up was: MUM, DAD, SIS, BRO, KID, SON, NAN, and POP. My first fixed-wing solo flight was in NAN, and my logbook also contains flights in MUM, DAD and SIS. The only downside to these names is that they can be hard to say in phonetics over the radio."

* * *

Mindless acts: Yes, Norman, sadly many readers experienced needless and malicious acts of vandalism, like those who walked over your car. One reader said their children's net trampoline cage was slashed by a passerby in the night, another said her herb garden was uprooted (a pesto addict, maybe). And Michael Hamilton of West Harbour says a group of wooden letterboxes were ransacked and smashed, as were nearby fences, a few weeks back.

* * *

See today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: Put a little satire into the High School Musical phenomenon and you’ve got Glee; the latest American sitcom hit, starting tonight on TV3. Go here and make a comment.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter

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