"This is question 17 of the NZ Post survey that I found my girlfriend had filled in for us," writes a reader.
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The reptile dysfunction story reminded Mary Bagby of when a Canadian visitor to Auckland thought a rental car person was trying to direct him to
'Private Parts Rd'. "He asked the person to spell the name of the road and we all burst out laughing when he spelled out 'Khyber Pass Rd'."
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Hilary writes: "Now that the subject of reptile dysfunction has been raised [pardon the pun!], am I the only one who finds these adverts not only offensive but poor taste in the extreme? I'm just about over fielding questions from my children on the subject; keep it up, keep it up longer, keep it up stronger, keep it up all night every night, be a longer stronger lover for your partner, an all-nighter over a two-minute wonder on and on and on. It's enough to put you off completely never mind turn you on."
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Traumatic tales of snail mail taking weeks to get to its destination have flooded into the Sideswipe email box:
Says one: "I posted three invitations to my 30th from Hamilton to Auckland and they didn't reach the recipients for two weeks. I had sent them in plenty of time so no damage done, but did have an anxious few days thinking I would be spending my birthday alone at a table for 10 in a buffet restaurant ... back to Facebook invitations for me from now on."
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Karin writes: "On behalf of Aucklanders please pass on our apologies to the reader from Taupo who complained about the homeless people who ruined his trip to Auckland. I'm very sorry we didn't gather them up and get rid of them in time for his visit, of course they are very selfish for choosing to hang around on the street and show dislike for small-town visitors no doubt staring at them."
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Another reader writes "There's a 'homeless' street person who sits and begs for money on Victoria St just down from the Sky Tower, right by my bus stop. He's a rather large man so food doesn't seem to be an issue. He also begs while listening to his iPod, so access to technology seems to be no problem. What seems to be missing is his modesty as he will turn towards the doorway of the nearest shop and pee ... letting it run down the footpath for all ... to walk through."
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Heather was the driver of the car parked in the handicapped space and published in Sideswipe yesterday. She says a valid disabled card was displayed and she was taking her elderly disabled mother shopping. "I appreciate people's annoyance at these offences but it would be helpful to all if they got it right." Our apologies.
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View today's Herald cartoon
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Today's Webpick: The Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium in Japan is the second largest in the world. Watch it here.
These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.