KEY POINTS:
Kids are cruel and taunting enough without being encouraged by weighty propaganda in their toy blocks ... Wonder what else is in the set ... U is for Ugly? (Sent in by Dannielle Somers of Te Atatu Peninsula.)
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This reader has an idea where some of the
monarch butterflies have gone ... "My daughter- in-law, grandchildren and I decided to go shopping. Before we left we asked Grandpa (not a gardener) to please water the garden, and especially the two swan plants I had planted to encourage the monarch butterflies to our garden. When we returned, Grandpa said he'd watered the garden as I'd asked but that he noticed the swan plants were being ravaged by numerous enormous caterpillars ... so he'd killed them."
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Mel Ironside works on a hospital switchboard, often taking calls from people with limited English. The deciphering process sometimes brings hilarious results. She writes: "Emma Jensey" turned out to be Emergency, "Kate Chen" was the kitchen, "Mick Pullman" was "make an appointment", but the best was a lovely older gentleman who wanted "mitty nitty". His wife was excitedly coaching him in the background. "Tell her mitty nitty, mitty nitty". After much repetition and shifting of emphasis, I worked out the new grandparents wanted maternity."
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Nevina Knight confesses to an embarrassing incident from her past: "I was walking to catch the train to work in Otahuhu and as I reached the pedestrian-crossing a man said, "Hey lady if you cross the road like that you're going to cause an accident." Thinking he was just a smart alec, I ignored him and carried on my way across a very busy intersection, minding my own business. As I neared the bridge to the train station, a kind- hearted Samaritan in a truck yelled at the top of his voice, "Lady, your dress is hooked up in your knickers".
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Sally, Paul Mason's older sister, had this to add to the story about their mother breaking her arm in the S-bend of a toilet: "Paul failed to mention that the lavatory lady was organising our sister's wedding at the time and all the lists of things to do were written very shakily with her left hand. To add to the challenge, our father also broke his leg by falling off a ladder while he was painting the kitchen before the wedding. He had his leg out of the plaster cast just in time to walk Ruth down the aisle."
Competition
Sideswipe is turning five so we decided it was time to give something back to you, the readers, who've made the daily swipery a must read. The best local contribution published next week will win a trip for two to the Gold Coast flying Air New Zealand with five nights accommodation at the Marrakesh Resort north of Surfers Paradise. If you've been meaning to take that bizarre picture or share that amusing yarn, now's the time to send them in. Finally, to all those readers who have sent in contributions to Sideswipe during the past five years, our sincere thanks. Because of the sheer volume of emails, it has not been possible to publish all the worthy stories and pictures or reply to each contributor individually. But thank you and keep'em coming.
Send the entries, via email or by post to Sideswipe, c/- NZ Herald, P O Box 32, Auckland.
Entries must be original local content and published in the week beginning April 16 and ending on April 21, 2007. The winner will be announced on Monday, April 23, in Sideswipe. For full terms and conditions of the prize offered please go to www.nzherald.co.nz/promotions next week.
