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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Monday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
2 Sep, 2007 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Bathroom crosspromotion spotted at Brisbane Airport.

Bathroom crosspromotion spotted at Brisbane Airport.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

Telecom creating spam: Here is an edited version of the text exchange Simon Lord had with his mobile phone provider.

Telecom: To receive Telecom news & offers via text message free, reply "yes" to this number.

Me: Please do not send sales messages to this number.

Telecom: Sorry,
we could not understand your response. The valid opt-in response is "yes".

Me: Which part of "not" do you not understand?

Telecom: Sorry, we could not understand your response. The valid opt-in response is "yes".

Me: Stop wasting my time with automated messages. Do I have to insert an inappropriate word such as "f***" to get a real person to read this?

Telecom: Thanks. You will no longer receive SMS marketing messages.

Sadly, four days later they started all over again. Why doesn't the new Spam Act cover these irritants?

* * *

Exclamation marks help raise price in online auction: An eBay user sold a bottle of Allsop's arctic ale, full and corked with a wax seal and brewed in 1852 for an arctic expedition, for US$304. A few months later, the buyer re-auctioned it as "Museum Quality ALLSOPP's ARCTIC ALE 1852 SEALED/FULL!!! RAREST Historic Beer in the World! AMAZING HISTORY!!!" It sold for US$503,300. (Source: Nothing to do with Arbroath Blogspot)

* * *

A Sydney cat owner took his highly agitated kitten to the vet and discovered it was high on cocaine and benzodiazepines from a wild weekend dinner party. The 8-month-old Himalayan cat had dilated pupils, a racing heart, and was having trouble walking. The cat was placed in a cage, began pacing incessantly and was too anxious to have a thermometer inserted in its rectum, said a report in this month's Journal of Feline Medicine and Surgery. The owner's wife eventually admitted the cat could have licked "plates of cocaine", which had been served at a dinner party two days earlier. (Source: Sydney Morning Herald)


* * *

Readers empathised with Steve, who couldn't leave his office cubicle because of a broken fly, and offered some solutions: "The answer as performed by my husband earlier this year," says Miriam Clark. "Is a big blob of Blu Tack along the zipper. Only problem was we had to freeze the trousers to be able to pick the now warmed sticky blue stuff off before taking them to the tailors." Another reader, Rebecca, had a more detailed remedy: "Use the stapler to make some holes on both sides of the fabric next to the zip. Make sure the holes on each side line up with each other. Use the bulldog clip to hold the two sides of the zip together. Then unwind the paperclips and from the inside of the pants thread them through the holes in a zigzag. When the paperclip runs out, fold the end over and start with the next paperclip. Remove the bulldog clip and hey presto, closed zipper."

Today's Video Webpick: With $39 fares, its no time to develop a fear of flying&Ever had a landing like this in Wellington? Watch it here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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