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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Monday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
25 Mar, 2007 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

Telecom Postcard: Telecom sent this Xtra Broadband "postcard" to a Chris who says: "I have rung the 24/7 number to get a username to find that the help desk is only available during 'office hours - 11am to 8.30pm'. Bring on more competition."

* * *

Poets bullied
in Aotea Square: Last Tuesday night a group of performance poets decided to chalk poetry by night in Aotea Square, as a gift for tired city workers to find in the morning. Ten minutes after setting chalk to pavement and decorating the "Mountain Fountain" with removable verse they were confronted by burly security guards from The Edge who rudely asked them to move on. The poets protested that they thought Aotea Square was part of the public space, but were told it wasn't and that "you need a permit to write poetry. Apply to the people on the fourth floor." The Guerrilla Poets wonder whether writing poetry now amounts to breaking council bylaws?

* * *

Police in the Philippines have issued a warning to gay officers to not sway their hips or display other suggestive behaviour while on duty - or they could risk losing their jobs. "If they sway their hips while marching, or if they engage in lustful conduct, I think that will be a ground for separation," Philippine National Police spokesman Chief Superintendent Samuel Pagdilao said Thursday. (Source: MSNBC)

* * *

Trouble getting out of the sack? A new alarm clock may be the answer. The Wake N' Bacon Alarm Clock wakes you up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon. A frozen strip of bacon is placed in Wake N' Bacon the night before and the clock set to go off 10 minutes before the desired waking time. Once the alarm goes off, the clock throws a switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in 10 minutes.

* * *

On Saturday Chris and Ruth Hutchinson finished a seven-year crawl of every British pub with "bell" in its name. After calling at the Golden Bell in Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire - the 750th - they will celebrate at a local church, by ringing the bells. Chris, 60, of Yateley, Hampshire, said: "We travel the country quite a lot and like walking. We did it more for the people we'd meet. I just had a half in each pub while Ruth's more or less teetotal." (Source: The Sun)

* * *

While sorting rubbish under their house for a recent street collection Norman and Cary Hogwood found a framed wedding photo of an Asian couple who may have once rented the house. "The name seems to be Mr Lai Pui," says Norman. "If there is anyone in or around Auckland that know this couple they might like to make contact on 575-9018."

Each day Sideswipe will link to a humorous, satirical or simply strange video clip selected from the infinite amount of nothingness hosted on YouTube and the like. The very best online videos will be carefully chosen and hosted on Ana's online magazine Spare Room and shared with Sideswipe readers. Today's Video Webpick: A clip from British comedy Harry Enfield and Chums (circa 1994) for any woman who has ever had it suggested to her that perhaps she should try be more agreeable in mixed company (i.e. would get a boyfriend if she pretended to be not so smart). Watch it here.
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