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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Monday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
30 Dec, 2007 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

New Zealand's favourite weathercaster Jim Hickey endorses the Vaporvac rangehood.

* * *

Janis Coper writes: "My daughter, who is travelling overseas until late January, owns a cat that has been sick and is being cared for by a friend. My daughter emailed me and asked me to
contact the vet and get the results of the recent blood tests. I was told that they wouldn't give me the results as I wasn't the pet's owner. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I presume they would have been very happy for me to pay for any treatment or medication. I am sure the cat wouldn't get too upset that I was made aware of her most personal details."

* * *

Ron Berrington of Kerikeri has found a use for Winston Peters' much-vaunted NZ Super Card: "While spending Christmas in the UK, my hire-car windscreen got frosted over. No problem! Whipping out my NZ Super Card I swiftly scraped it clean. My sister, who was with me at the time, was really envious so I gallantly gave the card to her as a Christmas bonus - after all, it's not much use to me in the semi-tropical Bay of Islands!"

* * *

Impressive drinking yarns: The record for history's largest cocktail belongs to British Lord Admiral Edward Russell, who in 1694 threw an officers' party that included using a garden's fountain as the punch bowl. Into the fountain went 950 litres of brandy, 475 litres of Malaga wine, 636kg of sugar, 2500 lemons, 70 litres of lime juice, and 2kg of nutmeg. Bartenders paddled around in a small wooden canoe, filling up cups. They worked in 15-minute shifts to avoid being overcome by the fumes and falling overboard. The party continued nonstop for a full week. (More "Drinking Stories That Put Yours To Shame" at MentalFloss.com)

* * *

Joshua's mother, who is the recipient of a heart transplant, was interviewed by an Auckland suburban newspaper about her planned participation in a "round the mountain" relay race. The reporter asked if her donor would be running with her? "How can one begin to summarise the mental malfunction contained in this statement?" asks Joshua.

* * *

Roger in Te Atatu has a question: "Has anyone noticed their catnip doesn't work on the cat? In recent months I've bought spray-on liquids, and catnip toys for Christmas but just as I'm trying to look like the fun uncle, the cats only yawn and walk away. I tried it on about five different age and sex of cats but nothing - Yawn! What am I doing wrong? Is there a silly season after all?"

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