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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Look at mooooi, Mister Speaker

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
18 Aug, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Looks like MP Paula Bennett and Kath and Kim's Gina Riley may have been separated at birth ... now that would make a "noiyce", different and "unewesual" episode!

* * *

An Australian website is allowing users to send short mobile phone-type messages into space. HelloFromEarth.net wants messages
no longer than 160 characters that will be transmitted to Gliese 581d, the nearest Earth-like planet outside the solar system likely to support life. Expected delivery time? Twenty years. Those involved say it's what the public will say about life on Earth, rather than if any alien life form is listening, that's interesting. Messages include: "Greetings from Earth. Hopefully you can swing by sometime, Steven Spielberg would love to meet you" and "Do you need CO2 up there? And do you have a way to collect it from our air? We have plenty! Feel free to come and get it!"

* * *

At Ngatea Water Gardens, Estelle Seaman of Torbay was mortified to see live fish being fed to the turtles. "Fish are placed in a small pond to be attacked and eaten, from the tail end, while they try desperately to get away. One fish was seen still alive, with its tail and about two centimetres of its body missing! A slow and agonising death, not a sight for the kids. Reason for this needless suffering? Apparently this is what happens in the wild, according to the manager."

* * *

Peta's latest campaign to encourage a vegetarian lifestyle targets overweight women. The "Save the Whales" billboard campaign in Jackson, Florida shows the back of a large woman in a bikini, and the slogan: "Lose the Blubber, Go Vegetarian."

* * *

Grant received a flyer from the oddly named Mobile Lawn Mowing service. "Thank goodness someone thought of this! Putting my lawn in the back of the wagon to take it to the lawnmower shop every two weeks was a real drag."

* * *

Catherine was stopped in her tracks after seeing this male/female icon painted on the car parks at Albany Mall. Aside from two parks, all the others are marked for parents with babies. "Not sure what these are meant to be for ... people who really need a toilet? People that don't know if they're male or female? Anyone who is either male or female? Maybe it's a hidden portal to Narnia?"

* * *

Sir Lion, (pictured in Monday's Sideswipe) would like to thank all those who offered their congratulations on his recent knighthood (for services to adult literacy and smallgoods). Colleagues were delighted to have his work finally acknowledged and enjoyed catching up with peers. Regards, staff and management, Maxi Meat Mart.

* * *

View today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: Anyone want to adopt either of these dogs? No, me neither. Go here and scroll down.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.

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