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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Friday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
5 Jul, 2007 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

After the coverage of the terrorist attack on Glasgow Airport, an unlikely hero has emerged. John Smeaton was the airport staff worker on a cigarette break when the attack happened. Smeaton helped police tackle the two accused terrorists who leapt from the flaming car after crashing into the terminal and was subsequently interviewed by the world's media. Thanks to his heroics, and helped not a little by being good-looking and having a thick Scottish accent, a website has been set up urging people to buy Smeaton a pint to thank him for his efforts. The site, johnsmeaton.com, claims to already have 1000 pints sitting behind the bar at the Glasgow Airport Holiday Inn and has also suggested the airport be renamed Smeaton International Airport.

***

Auctioneer James Hogan had just announced the next lot at a Webb's jewellery sale this week when an enormous thunderclap directly overhead rocked the Newmarket gallery. When Hogan asked "Do I take that as an opening bid?" a voice called out from the back of the room: "Better let him have it."

***

A reader writes: I'm 19 and feel I should be down with the lingo but even I needed a friend to translate and help me respond when these messages came to my phone by accident.

RANDOM: Hae oi it chany cn i stil buy ur amp nd sub nd 4 hw muc?

FRIEND: Shii gurl yo be crumping to those beats dayum u holla on up shawdy yeaya

RANDOM: Haha. i'l kum get it 1 av0 alg?

FRIEND: Thats how we do! Thursdays dope yo

RANDOM: Swet

***

US retail giant Wal-Mart is being sued for secretly taking out life insurance policies on its employees without telling them. The company then cashes in when the employee dies. According to BuzzFeed.com, they're known as "dead peasant" policies. One lawyer says up to 25 per cent of Fortune 500 companies use them, claiming they do it to create tax benefits for the company, which would in turn use the benefits for benevolent purposes such as buying employee medical benefits. Or just make more money.

***

A fan of the science fiction blockbuster Transformers has officially changed his middle name to Megatron, the villain of the film and toy franchise. Jason Michael Burrows went through the arduous legal procedures and got the third degree from officials. "She asked if my name-change was to defraud creditors. I said no," writes Burrows on his Flickr page. "She then asked if I was indeed changing my middle name to that of my childhood hero. I smiled and said 'Yes Ma'am'. She said, 'Then I do order and decree that your name be changed from Jason Michael Burrows to Jason Megatron Burrows'."

***

Desmond Foulger writes: "Our community communications centres, now called Post Shops, are no longer able to be telephoned, despite their numbers being in the telephone book. I was rudely told on the 0800-501-501 number that from now on I would have to 'go there' to make inquiries."

Today's Video Webpick: There's no shortage of clips featuring dancing Star Wars stormtroopers on YouTube, but this one gets it right and boogies down to 'Let's Groove Tonight' by Earth, Wind and Fire. Watch it here. These very best online videos are from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
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