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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Friday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
4 Jan, 2007 04:37 AM3 mins to read

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Lee Smith spotted this boat, high and dry, on Great South Rd in Papakura last week. 'I guess there's no chance of drowning with this method of boating,' he writes, 'but I can't imagine the fishing would be that great.'

Lee Smith spotted this boat, high and dry, on Great South Rd in Papakura last week. 'I guess there's no chance of drowning with this method of boating,' he writes, 'but I can't imagine the fishing would be that great.'

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

A reader writes: "The Avon lady phoned me up to request payment for my order, which was now ready. "Yes, no problem. I'll put a cheque in our mailbox for you to pick up." Five minutes later there was a knock at the door. I opened the door to a very tall man wearing a large black motorbike helmet. A bit overwhelmed by his headgear, after his request for the Avon money, I shut the door to go and write the cheque. Next minute there was a huge crash. Instinctively I screamed as loud as I could (I thought the Avon man had smashed through our front door). Terrified and frozen to the spot, I kept screaming hoping someone would hear me and come and help. I then noticed the Avon man standing patiently at the front door. He looked through the window rather red in the face. "What's the matter?" he asked ... "Um ... er ... I thought you had smashed my door down," I said. (It was the vacuum cleaner falling out of the passage cupboard.) Incredibly shaken ... and embarrassed, I gave the cheque to the Avon man, who swiftly rode off on his nifty fifty."

* * *

A reader who decided to switch back to Telecom for toll calls is wondering if he made the right decision. Telecom promised to send a letter confirming the switch. When it didn't arrive, he phoned this week to find out what happened to it. "From dialling the number to being told a new copy of the letter would be sent took 22 minutes," he says, "most of it spent listening to Split Enz' greatest hits and being thanked by a recording for my patience. And this is a communications company?" The call centre worker told our man his was one of 60 waiting calls; it was always busy at this time of the year but, no, the company didn't put on extra staff.

* * *

Kylie Brewer, who works at an office near the Constellation Drive motorway on-ramp, noticed a sign had been installed to let road users know about the new transit lane set up to ease traffic during rush hour. Which is a good thing, right? Trouble is, the sign faces the wrong way. Instead of facing the road, it faces Kylie's office building.

* * *

Tourism agency VisitBritain has compiled a list of the most stupid questions put to it last year. They included: "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?" And: "Is Wales closed during the winter?" One tourist wanted to know: "Why on earth did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path of Heathrow?" Another asked: "Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?" Questions put to VisitScotland staff included: "Are there any Sheena Easton museums in Glasgow?" Best of all, one tourist asked: "What time of night does the Loch Ness monster surface and who feeds it?" (Source: Ananova.com)

* * *

In response to the reader who thought seven padlocks at the entrance to Three Kings park was overkill: Sideswipe has been informed that the padlocks form a chain, and allow seven different groups of users (ie, council workers, DoC, etc ... ) to have access to the area, each with their own padlock and key. Each user can open his or her own padlock which then breaks the chain, allowing access. Not overkill, but quite clever really.

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