Sideswipe: Best amusing celebrity quotes of the decade

This mobility scooter was clamped because it was not displaying a valid mobility card. "Great Christmas spirit St Lukes!" says our shopping spy.

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Best amusing celebrity quotes of the decade:

1. Tom Cruise clashes with Matt Lauer about psychology (2005) - "Psychiatry is a pseudoscience ... You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do ... Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don't even - you're glib. You don't even know what Ritalin is."

2. Matthew McConaughey, on the birth of his son Levi (2008) - "We found a great rhythm. Contractions started kicking in. I sat there with her, right between her legs. We got tribal on it, we danced to it! I was DJ-ing this Brazilian music."

3. George Bush, on Google (2006) - "Occasionally. One of the things I've used on the Google is to pull up maps. It's very interesting to see - I've forgot the name of the program - but you get the satellite, and you can - like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes."

4. Melissa Etheridge, after winning an Oscar (2007) - "This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom."

5. Kanye West, on his legacy (2008) - "I realise that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice." (More at Buzzfeed.com)

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It's not only the kids who are ringing the Telecom Santa Line. This year grown-ups are using the service to ask for engagement rings and girlfriends. Apart from the lovelorn, adults are hoping Santa has some diamonds, new cars, plane tickets to see loved ones and lingerie in his sack this year. The Santa Line has been operating since 1993. Children (and adults) can call Santa on (0800) 222-222 or email him requests from www.santaline.co.nz until December 24.

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Father Tim Jones of the St Lawrence Church in York, England is getting some flak for advocating shoplifting as an option for those in desperate straits. In a sermon, Father Jones told the congregation: 'My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift. I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither ... I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices. I would ask them not to take any more than they need, for any longer than they need ... I offer the advice with a heavy heart." (Source: The Daily Mail)

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