Sideswipe: Awash with love

Hardly an occasion to celebrate with cake. Photo / Supplied

Hardly an occasion to celebrate with cake, but how about bubbles?

* * *

Supervisors at the Department for Work and Pensions in Carlisle, England, issued a directive to frazzled staff on how to ease their telephone workload during the busy period. Workers were told to pick up the ringing phone, recite a message as if an answering machine: "Due to the high volume of inquiries we are currently experiencing, we are unable to take your call. Please call back later," and immediately hang up. (Source: Newsoftheweird.com)

* * *

A bag-snatcher on a bike sped past an elderly dog-walker in Worthing, West Sussex and swiped her shopping bag. Unfortunately, she had been using the bag to clean up after her dog. (Source: Theargus.co.uk)

* * *

A reader writes: "Yesterday I was taken in by an Air NZ offer of $189 flights to Brisbane. I wanted to book return tickets, flying Brisbane-Auckland. When I got online the best deal available was $203, still good, so I booked them. When I downloaded my receipt I realised the fares were A$203. Buyer beware. "One way flight from Auckland"' means just that. Booking to travel in the other direction takes you to the Australian website, and fares are in Australian dollars ... so a return flight is not $378 but $455, plus taxes. More than a normal economy fare. Sneaky."

* * *

Revenue-gathering 101

Step One: Build a flower-bed down the middle of a road to prevent hundreds of cars from turning right into the building where they work, instead forcing them to loop around onto much more congested streets (such as Quay St) for 150 metres.

Step Two: Hide sign outlining Bus Lane Hours of Operation behind a giant tree.

Step Three: For those who don't have x-ray vision, or those who want to get their car off the road as soon as possible and use their common sense by zooming 120m down the bus lane instead of the 50m they're legally allowed, send them a $150 fine.

* * *

Anne Pitkethley was impressed to see two gentlemen jump off the Princes Wharf on Sunday to save a small Asian boy that fell. Heart-warming stuff. Could anyone who knows these brave fellas please contact newsdesk@nzherald.co.nz. We'd love to hear their story.

* * *

See today's Herald cartoon