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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> A real Paige Turner

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
26 Feb, 2009 03:00 PM3 mins to read

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Black humour on a birthday cake.

Black humour on a birthday cake.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

Most Unfortunate Real Names in Britain: Parents really do need to think carefully before naming their children. According to bbc.co.uk, these are real names some folk have been burdened with: Justin Case, Barb Dwyer, Stan Still, Terry Bull, Paige Turner, Mary Christmas, Anna Sasin, Doug Hole, Hazel Nutt, Rose Bush, Anna Prentice, Annette Curtain, Bill Board, Pearl Button, Jo King, Barry Cade, Carrie Oakey, Priti Manek, Tim Burr, Jenny Taylor (think about it) and Ivy Plant. For some, their name was a source of constant teasing during the school years but, as adults, they quite liked having a unique name. For others, their names have been an albatross around their necks for life.

* * *

Kerrie McGowan, from Air New Zealand's domestic cabin crew, spotted Jetstar claiming on TV to have the best cabin crew in New Zealand and Australia, thanks to a Skytrax award they won back in 2007. Time must bestanding still for them, because Air New Zealand is the current holder of that award (Jetstar didn't even make the top three last year). "Silly us," says Kerrie, "in our own quiet Kiwi way we were letting our award-winning customer service speak for itself."

* * *

Alister writes, "Hey, don't knock those cardboard boxes. In the 70s when I still played with dolls, my Big Jim action figure's accessories included complete James Bond safe houses, Star Trek-ish shuttles, Land of the Giants-type spacecraft, providing the best damn adventures possible in Palmerston North - and all made with a hobby knife, Sellotape and the finest corrugated cardboard I could find. One of my Mum's favourite pictures is of me in a Robot suit and damned if I'm not the mirror image of Bender from Futurama. All costing nothing but a few hours of craft. The only regret is that I should have smuggled beer from the fridge in my Bender outfit."

* * *

Criticised for its stringent 24-hour pre-pay stance this week, the BP on the Ellerslie-Panmure Highway also has its loyal customers. "We dropped in to buy some milk on our way walking home from dinner. It had started to rain and, after the staff member wished us a good night, I made a passing comment about getting wet on our walk home. He then insisted, strenuously, that we borrow his umbrella. We dropped it back the next day and needless to say haven't bought petrol anywhere else since."

* * *

Ross Mayall says the service station prepay systems became a necessity only because of the dishonesty of our fellow citizens. "When 'fill up and drive-away without paying' became common practice, the petrol stations had to find a solution. If we were all honest, we would not have pre-pay. I am sure that service stations would be happy to employ staff to do the petrol tank filling if all customers were prepared to pay extra to cover the wages of forecourt staff."

* * *

A reader writes: "Let me be the 373rd reader to point out that 'champing at the bit' is correct; it is chomping that is incorrect."

* * *
See today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: Eighties celebrity ads - Grace Jones vs MacGyver, which is better? View here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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Lifestyle

What is the most unfortunate name you have heard?

29 May 04:07 AM
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