That muffled squealing noise coming from the Beehive is George Hawkins being nailed by his embarrassed colleagues behind several layers of wall cladding, soundproof if not leak-proof.
It is difficult to recall someone having as much difficulty gasping for credibility during a snap debate in Parliament as the Internal Affairs Minister
did on Wednesday.
Then again, even Trevor Mallard, who was designated as Hawkins' minder in the House and at a press conference earlier in the afternoon, was less than convincing as he promoted the Government's new mediation process to help those stricken with rotting houses.
Hawkins is a canny politician - he proved so during Labour's nine years in Opposition. As a senior member of the party's right faction, he often plays a backroom role in smoothing ructions in the caucus.
But this time he forgot (or ignored) a golden rule of politics. In New Zealand - where the population barely matches that of a large European city - the buck always lands on a minister's desk.
Even when responsibility lies elsewhere, the clamour builds for the Government to do something.
As Sports Minister, Mallard understood this during the Rugby World Cup hosting-rights fiasco. Technically, it was none of the Government's business. But Mallard intervened. He made the right noises; he tried to talk to the right people. It made no difference. But no-one accused the Government of sitting on its hands.
In contrast, the Government's handling of the rotting homes crisis has lacked such finesse. The politics of gesture has been absent.
A minister on his toes - especially one who lives in Auckland - would have made sure he was seen to be cracking the whip over the building industry.
Instead, the prudent advice of Hawkins and Helen Clark that affected homeowners consult a lawyer has been easily painted by opponents as callous. They gave the impression that the Government, which bears responsibility for the Building Code, was wiping its hands of the matter.
There is another golden rule. Politics abhors a vacuum. There is a post-election lull; the Government has been on cruise control. The negative publicity flowing from leaky homes has filled that vacuum.
But this is also a crisis which has crept up on the Government. The lapses in building standards and the financial burden imposed on homeowners to fix them have taken a while to penetrate the Wellington political consciousness.
In part, this is due to regulatory responsibility residing in what one Beehive source describes as a "sleepy corner" of the bureaucracy - the Internal Affairs Department and its advisory body, the Building Industry Authority, which has known about the problem for at least two years.
The caution of slow-moving officials has fuelled ministerial reluctance to say anything which might be interpreted as accepting liability.
The National Party believes the Government's leaden-footed response is also a result of this crisis being externally generated. It is difficult to contain compared with crises arising within as a result of stuff-ups by ministers or bureaucrats.
In its first three years back in power, Labour was struck by few such external shocks. This one keeps mushrooming. This week it was the loss of insurance cover for building certifiers.
More significantly, the crisis might also mark a none-too-happy political watershed for Labour.
Even though leaky buildings may be the result of changes in building practices when National was in power in the 1990s, simply blaming National is no longer working for Labour. It looks petty when there is a disaster in need of remedying.
National, for the first time, is refusing to be embarrassed or silenced by something that occurred on its watch.
Finding a solution is far more important. And by proposing a binding tribunal to handle grievances, National is offering one. Moreover, National, normally pro-business, has sided firmly with homeowners. As home ownership is a key component of personal security, National is tapping into a potent issue in middle New Zealand.
In getting its voluntary mediation service up and running, the Government has had to avoid upsetting those it needs to come on board - nervous local bodies and errant builders. It consequently stands accused of putting the interests of homeowners a distant third by failing to consult them.
The whole saga has been a godsend for National.
It has given the party a platform, enabling it to call public meetings across New Zealand, thus helping meet Bill English's goal of National "reconnecting" with voters.
The choice of Tauranga for this weekend's meeting will not be lost on Winston Peters, who made a point of speaking in Wednesday's snap debate.
National cannot lose. If only a few people show up to such meetings, National can argue that affected homeowners are reluctant to identify themselves publicly for fear of jeopardising their property values.
In contrast, Labour has constantly been playing catch-up.
Hawkins vacillated over the need for an inquiry, finally agreeing to a toothless select committee investigation that will still give National MPs the opportunity to grandstand over a period of weeks, if not months.
Then, Labour unveiled a mediation process, but with scant detail of how this will work.
The announcement was rushed out to give the impression of action - but only opened the Government up for more criticism.
Getting this far, however, required the intervention of high-powered officials from the Prime Minister's Department under instruction from Clark to speed a solution.
It is also understood the Prime Minister - worried by the fickle political market in Auckland - delivered some stern words at Wednesday's meeting of the Cabinet policy committee, particularly regarding the need to rectify the regulatory regime under the Building Act.
For once, however, her intervention reeks of too little, too late.
That muffled squealing noise coming from the Beehive is George Hawkins being nailed by his embarrassed colleagues behind several layers of wall cladding, soundproof if not leak-proof.
It is difficult to recall someone having as much difficulty gasping for credibility during a snap debate in Parliament as the Internal Affairs Minister
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