COMMENT
It's women's fault I'm bald. That's women in general, not a specific woman. I've decided that women are to blame that I was genetically predestined to go bald.
I'm using the same logic that women use when they imply that it's men's fault they have PMT.
"You should be more sensitive," I'm
told, as the only male in range. Apparently I'm supposed to know, and it's my fault I don't.
It's apparently also men's fault that women have babies.
Female logic has deduced that Mother Nature is ambivalent about whether men or women have babies, but men do something or other that flips the childbearing role over to the women's side of life.
"How would you like it if men had to have babies?" I'm asked.
I wouldn't. It would play havoc with my figure. But men can't have babies, so what am I supposed to say?
I suppose I should also be able to lactate and so find out that my career choices are affected by having to breast-feed.
Somehow I can't see myself propping up a bar somewhere and unbuttoning my shirt to feed the kid.
Similarly, men are to blame for the pain of childbirth. It's the worst sort of pain there is, men couldn't bear it. How does anyone know, and why glare at me when you say it?
I'd like nothing better if women didn't have to put up with the pain, but what am I supposed to do, hammer nails into my knees in sympathy?
So I've decided its women's turn to take the blame for something that happens to men. That means it's women's fault I'm bald.
No, don't try and get out of it, it's your fault. Same as it's your fault men die earlier than women. And are bigger. And can't tell the difference between two shades of the same colour. And can't read body language very well but can read maps.
I'll tell you what. We'll swap for a few years. You go bald, and I'll take the pill.
Well don't say I didn't offer.
* Peter Glassborow is a Herald reader from Howick.
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