NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

<i>Paul Thomas:</i> Parental love flawed excuse for inalienable right to smack.

By Paul Thomas,
30 Mar, 2007 05:00 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Opinion by Paul ThomasLearn more

KEY POINTS:

I suppose I could add my voice to the strident chorus of those who apparently believe they are what they are today because their parents were prepared to be cruel to be kind.

My voice mightn't be welcomed though, because what I am today probably wouldn't meet with
the approval of the self-righteous puritans making most of the noise in defence of a parent's right to smack.

I'll spare them the dilemma: call me sentimental, call me big-headed, but after due consideration I put my modest achievements and current status as a functioning member of society down to my parents' love and support, a good education, and my own efforts, rather than a few whacks on the bum.

Actually, I could be a poster boy for spanking because as well as having the benefit of the occasional bottom-warmer at home, I boarded at King's College in the days when corporal punishment was as routine as porridge for breakfast.

You were either the beater or the beaten: house prefects administered the sandshoe for such lapses as talking after lights out; school prefects were spoilt for choice when it came to finding reasons to force other boys to bend over and take their medicine; and the teachers caned - some as a last resort, others at the drop of a hat.

There was also a system of semi-official bullying known by the bland euphemism "seniority". In practice this meant you could scare and belt the daylights out of younger boys in your boarding house in the name of keeping everyone in their rightful place.

It had been going on for years and was tolerated because it was another instrument of crowd control and widely believed - especially by the old boys among the parents - to make a man of you.

In fact it was mostly pure and simple persecution driven by spite and cruelty - as opposed to a misguided sense of the greater good - that zeroed in with Darwinian inevitability on those least equipped to handle it.

It's hard to know why apparently sensible people would think getting struck on the backside enhances masculinity, especially when there's evidence that it can have the opposite effect.

What percentage of Englishmen developed a taste for spanking as a result of corporal punishment is anyone's guess but it's not called le vice Anglais for nothing.

But whether corporal punishment and institutionalised bullying made a man of you or turned you into a masochistic sissy, their time has well and truly passed. As a society we decided - better late than never - that such behaviour belonged to another, less enlightened age. What's left is the punishment we dish out to our own children in the privacy of our own home.

Those who see this as an inalienable right insist that Nanny State shouldn't interfere in the workings of a family. Oddly enough, when instances of horrific child abuse come to light, Nanny State is usually criticised for not being interfering enough, the suggestion being that if the social workers had been more persistent, attentive, and forceful in their dealings with the family concerned, the tragedy might well have been averted.

Any debate of this nature ushers in red herring season. We expect the police to recognise false or frivolous complaints in other areas, so why not here? And while it might be true that those most likely to abuse their children won't be deterred by the removal of the "reasonable force'' defence, that unfortunate reality applies to most laws in the statute book. We don't declare open slather on the roads just because hoons and drunks ignore traffic lights and speed limits.

If history teaches us anything it's that the punitive urge and religious zeal go hand in hand. Some smacking enthusiasts claim the Bible contains God's seal of approval.

Leaving aside the fact that much of what passed for wisdom in the Middle East 2000 years ago is of questionable value today, the oft-quoted maxim "spare the rod and spoil the child" doesn't come from the Bible.

The nearest the Bible gets is Proverbs 13-24: "He that spareth the rod, hateth his son but he that loveth him, correcteth him betimes." Some of Christianity's messages may indeed be timeless but surely mankind has advanced to a point where parental love isn't measured in smacks.

The line actually comes from a satirical poem - lampooning Puritanism - by the 17th century English poet Samuel Butler (as distinct from the 19th century English writer of the same name who for a time farmed in the Canterbury high country).

It crops up in a conversation between a knight and an amorous widow and whatever discipline they have in mind has nothing to do with children.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New ZealandUpdated

Police investigate unexplained death in Canterbury town

29 Jun 08:37 AM
New Zealand

Tenant in fight with Kāinga Ora over dogs evicted after repeated abuse

29 Jun 08:00 AM
Politics

Govt adds 2 years to prison sentences for assaults on first responders, prison officers

29 Jun 06:24 AM

Kaibosh gets a clean-energy boost in the fight against food waste

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Police investigate unexplained death in Canterbury town

Police investigate unexplained death in Canterbury town

29 Jun 08:37 AM

Emergency services were called to the scene about 2.50pm

Tenant in fight with Kāinga Ora over dogs evicted after repeated abuse

Tenant in fight with Kāinga Ora over dogs evicted after repeated abuse

29 Jun 08:00 AM
Govt adds 2 years to prison sentences for assaults on first responders, prison officers

Govt adds 2 years to prison sentences for assaults on first responders, prison officers

29 Jun 06:24 AM
Shark tattoo comes back to bite fake cop in escape bid to Rarotonga

Shark tattoo comes back to bite fake cop in escape bid to Rarotonga

29 Jun 05:48 AM
Engage and explore one of the most remote places on Earth in comfort and style
sponsored

Engage and explore one of the most remote places on Earth in comfort and style

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP