Inquest brought tragedy back

Angela, Alan and Caitlin Symes, with Aisling's toy, Afu. Photo / Jason Dorday

As Angela Symes struggled through the heart-breaking inquest into her daughter Aisling's death, a little toy elephant lay snuggled in her handbag.

The grey elephant, Afu, was one of Aisling's favourite toys.

Angela and husband Alan Symes, both 39, had dreaded the inquest because it meant reliving the horror of October 2009, when their 2-year-old daughter died after falling down a stormwater pipe in West Auckland.

Somehow they and eldest daughter Caitlin, 7, survived the three-day hearing as they have the past 18 months - one day at a time.

Angela said: "I don't deny that there have been times when all three of us have said that we wish it was all over and we ... just wanted to go home to heaven and be with her.

"But Caitlin's got her whole life ahead of her, and you just take each day as it comes. It's hard for me to look at kids and think about how Aisling would be right now, but that's the way it is."

Alan said: "People ask us how we cope, and I don't know either, but we're here. We just do I guess."

The lounge of the Symes' Massey home is full of reminders of Aisling's short life. Photos, toys, angels and letters from Caitlin to her sister cover the dresser where Aisling's ashes sit in a little white box.

Said Angela: "We intend to get the urn buried at some point, but we're not done looking after her yet. As parents you expect to look after your children until they don't need you any more, and I'm not done looking after her."

The inquest heard how numerous people had complained about the manhole cover above the drain "popping" off. It was not fixed until after her death.

Alan, who has a background in security and radio broadcasting and now works for the Ministry of Justice, said one of the hardest things to deal with had been knowing Aisling's death was preventable.

Asked if they'd felt anger, the committed Christians paused.

"Initially, yes," said Alan. "But where's anger going to get us really? Caitlin has got a lot of living to do, and hopefully so do we.

"There's no point in getting bitter and twisted and angry forever and spending our lives spitting poison."

Angela said: "Who are we going to hurt except ourselves anyway? It doesn't get us anywhere, it doesn't get her back."

Angela said she knew she had to face the inquest - even though she didn't want to.

The drain lid in question has been replaced and a larger pipe installed.

Auckland Council now handles complaints about manhole covers within an hour. All the manholes in West Auckland have been assessed and repairs done where necessary. Those procedures have since been extended to the entire region.

Coroner Garry Evans reserved his decision.