Kerre Woodham: The streaker and her very rich assets

Paris Hilton has a lot to answer for. If you have a killer body and you're not afraid to show it, that's enough these days to get yourself a few moments in the spotlight.

We have a new contender for the title of New Zealand's Own Paris Hilton - Lisa Lewis, a 25-year-old solo mother from the Bay of Plenty. Lewis is the woman who sprinted across Waikato Stadium last week in the dying moments of the All Black-Ireland test match, and put the bikini she wore during the run up for sale on Trade Me.

Putatively, it's to pay her court costs, but she was undoubtedly hoping to emulate the money-making success achieved by the seller of Tana's handbag. And she hasn't done too badly - the bikini sold for $4010. Thanks to her willingness to talk to every journalist who phoned her, she managed to drum up quite a bit of interest in the auction and walked away with thousands more than her ex-boyfriend paid for the bikini.

Actually, the ex has been cutting up rough since Lewis hit the headlines. He reckons the money from the bikini sale should be coming to him, as he forked out a fortune on Lewis while he was seeing her. He calculates he spent $7000 a week on her during those halcyon days before it all went pear-shaped - which was shortly after her tits went melonishaped. And that poses a vexing question. In fact, two vexing questions.

How did a truckie come by $7000 a week to spend on his girlfriend? And two, what's the protocol in relation to plastic surgery in these modern times? If a gentleman pays for a lady of his acquaintance to enhance her natural assets for his viewing and sensory pleasure, what happens when said lady hits the highway in search of a new beau, taking her surgically enhanced breasts with her? Is it fair that the new man will undoubtedly get to profit from the improved chattels while the first gentleman is left to count the cost? What should a well-mannered and decent girl do in this sort of situation?

I'm sure it's happening more and more often these days. It may well be a good idea for any men out there about to sign cheques for their girlfriend's plastic surgery bills to draw up a legal document to ensure that if there's a bust-up, so to speak, they get their money back on their investment.

As well as the ex-lover, an ex-husband was tracked down in the United States and he obligingly told the Waikato Times journalist that, yes indeed, he'd been in love with a stripper.

His ex-wife, who in another life was called Sapphire and was an exotic dancer at Firecats, loved attention and he wasn't at all surprised that she'd managed to grasp her five minutes of fame and milk the udder of opportunity that fame brings.

She has answered every posting on her Trade Me auction site and she's quite the indomitable character. Obviously, she's a firm believer in every bit of publicity being good publicity and if she's being slagged off by thin-lipped individuals who regard her actions as reprehensible, then hey, at least they know she's alive, and her responses to those people, as well as to the myriad phwoar boys who've publicly stated their admiration and desire for Ms Lewis, are as perky and uplifting as her plastic tits. While I cannot in any way support people who disrupt rugby games, particularly test matches, you can't help but wish Ms Lewis well.

She's a good-looking woman with a great physique and a desire to make money any way she can. She's a product of her times and she's on sale now. I hope she gets the best price she can before she's consigned, as many of us will inevitably be, to the Busty Blonde Bargain Basement Shelf. She won't lack for company. Fame can be cruel to those who can't back up their front. Anyone remember Robyn Reynolds?