KEY POINTS:
I don't know what I'd do if I came home from work one night and found my Irishman in bed with a couple from down the road. I'd be disconcerted, I imagine, especially if it came out of leftfield. If it had been something we'd discussed - one of those things couples do to spice up their relationship - and if he'd whispered to me that one night, when I least expected it, I would come home from work to find a scene from my wildest fantasies, then OK. Fine.
You might accept the situation with just the mildest irritation that you hadn't been forewarned so you could have put on a g-string instead of being caught out in your nana pants.
But with all due respect to my neighbours, getting jiggy with them is not top of my list of things to do.
For most people, I imagine, it would be a shocking situation, hence the sympathy the Lion Man is getting. Although I could be wrong on this one. In the past couple of years, I've never heard of so many people indulging in so much group sex. Police officers, Timaru farmers and their wives, lion tamers - there's a whole host of people who've appeared in the news who've been getting down and dirty with all and sundry and apparently there are websites - local ones - dedicated to teaming up adventurous couples from Pahiatua with liberated young things from Carterton. Who would have thought?
Maybe I'm the one who's out of step for sticking to a pas de deux. None of us would support violence against women - indeed, none of us supports violence against men, unless it's during the State of Origin.
For the most part, I think we're all agreed that assaulting your partner, be they male or female, is a Very Bad Thing. But - and I know that the counsellors around the country will be cringing at the but - but surely, most people would behave irrationally if they came home to find their partner performing like a trained seal with a couple of people you wouldn't share your weedeater with, let alone your wife.
It certainly wouldn't absolve the offended party of murder, but most of us could probably understand the desire to get your naked partner out of the marital pit, into some clothes and out of the house.
And let's not forget that Craig Busch has been punished.
He hasn't got away with assaulting his former partner.
He pleaded guilty, was convicted; she has her 60 Minutes of fame, the opportunity to play the wounded victim and the cash. Dishonours all round, really.
Whatever the truth is in this story - and really, who will ever know the motivation of all the parties involved? - the lesson appears to be that there will always be consequences for every action taken. If you decide to get through your mid-life crisis by having an affair, there will be fallout.
If you decided to amp up your relationship with a bit of gentle swinging, one partner may like it more than the other.
A Pandora's box has been opened, and you're laying yourself wide open to a whole lot of trouble. And if you biff your bint because she's doing something you don't want her to do, you'll end up in court. That's the way it works.
