KEY POINTS:
Worldwide reaction to the election of a new United States President has been swift, immediate, speedy, rapid and quite quick as well.
From every corner of the planetary sphere, people and journalists are describing themselves as thrilled, shocked, delighted or asleep. Some are saying they're all three, which
proves many can't count.
But what does count is that the winds of change have washed over the traditionally conservative mid-West, leaving behind a scorched earth of Republican hopes which have sunk without trace in the landslide of voters embracing a new direction of hope.
For it was hope that dominated the dramatic acceptance speech which came shortly after the dramatic result was announced.
Speaking from his own mouth, the President-elect was cheered by his audience when he said, "While we breathe, we hope. And while we hope, I hope we're breathing. Because if we aren't, we're not. And then we couldn't do either. Or both."
It's that kind of bold, dynamic vision that has left world leaders like French President Sickolas Narcozy saying, "Sacre bleu. Ah weeesh ah ad sought of zat. Et would be a magnifique song for Carla."
Speaking from Dublin, which would be in Europe if Ireland hadn't broken off, the gorgeous Shin Fein leader (and Eurovison Song Contest runner-up) Ms Molly Malone hailed the stunning victory of Mr Barack O'Bama, the foist Irish-American ever to reach the Whoite house, begorrah, bgosh.
"T'is lovely to think we'll finally have a Val Doonican fan in the Oval Office, to be Shaw, to be Shaw as George Bernard most certainly was.
"Oi for one am lookin forward to meeting Obama and saying, 'Pleased to meet you, sir'. To which he will reply, 'You to'o. And oill say, 'No, oim not Bono, oim his girlfiriend'."
Meanwhile, in the Middle East, Old Jazz Era News was also upbeat. Newsreader Mohammed Mustafa Gaddafi Ali Anwar Hussein al-Khartoum (one of the big names in Arab broadcasting) said even Al Qaeda was happy with the result and to show their approval, the plucky band of freedom fighters would rename their leader Obama bin Laden.
Asked to comment on international predictions from a panel of experts that the next US President wouldn't be him, Republican hopeful John McCain admitted he was "unhopeful of victory, especially since we've conceded defeat.
"That's quite unhelpful. But at least now I won't have to call people I've never met my friends any more. Most of the time, I didn't like them!"
And in Nome, Alaska, it was cold, so everyone went to bed early with a nice hot cup of moose fat. (This sentence written by Fence Palin, aged 9)
With an Obama victory confirmed, interest shifted to other aspects of the campaign, including television's groundbreaking use of Star Trek 3D studio anchors who got beamed in electronically.
This state-of-the-art technology has seen Kiwi author Nooky Hugger announce plans for a book, The Holo Grams, which should appear in bargain bins before Christmas.
Speaking of New Zealand authors, we conclude this international round-up with the extinguished poet laureate, Mr Jam Hipkins, whose diligently sharpened his coruscating pen, then aimed it at our own great electoral contest:
Just one more sleep for Helen And John to name but two
And one more sleep for all the rest
And one more sleep for you
Then shall people's voice ring out
In tones both loud and clear
In polling booths and country halls
In hamlets far and near
It's there we'll shed those little ticks
That choose who next will be
The government err, maybe not
All thanks to MMP
We may not get a government
Full focused on its mission
We may just get 6 weeks of talks
And a creaky coalition
So, friends, electors, one and all
Think deep before you pick
Tick not some Harry or some Tom
Nor yet some frightful Dick
The list of candidates is long
There's Dingbatt and Crackpott
There's Dipstick, Dullard, Drongo, Floppe
There's Loony and there's Lott
Mark not such well-scrubbed hopefuls
Eschew their blandishments
Cast not your vote for those who stand
Bereft of any sense
Proceed then to your ballots
Full of MMPeacefulness
Determined to bring clarity
Not three long years of stress
Just remember my prediction
Made bold through thick and thin
My expert view has always been
Someone's going to win.
