Dialogue: When tipping is a dreadful sham

By SHELLY BRIDGEMAN

Tipping for service doesn't come naturally to most New Zealanders. And why should it? Quite simply it's not part of our culture.

It's not an issue we face daily. But when we go overseas, most of us try to fit in with local custom. We all know the theory that service staff in some countries are paid subsistence wages and rely heavily on tips. And we've all heard tales of tight-fisted customers being chased down the street by irate waiters.

While bona fide tipping situations are acceptable, Kiwi tourists remain suspicious about scenarios that appear to have been artificially concocted to generate a bit of extra tipping.

Once while staying in a New York hotel, a fax addressed to me was delivered to my room. Attached to the back of it was a fax for another guest. I rang to advise the hotel staff that they had delivered someone else's fax and I told them that I would slip the unwanted document under the door and out into the hallway.

A few minutes later there was a hammering on the door (despite the do-not-disturb sign on the handle) and I (determined not to be lured into unnecessary tipping) called out that the fax was outside and that they could just take it away.

But the knocking became louder and more desperate. I was in my dressing gown and about to go to bed, so I remained steadfast and eventually the commotion subsided.

But I was amazed that the staff member expected a tip for simply rectifying an error made by the hotel. Surely I had done them (and the other guest) a favour in notifying them of the mistake - and surely I shouldn't be out of pocket for performing my civic duty.

The fact that this guy was so keen for me to open the door to him indicated that most guests would have tipped. It makes you wonder if the mistaken fax delivery was a cleverly constructed attempt at revenue collection.

On a trip to Singapore I learned that intricate systems set up by the hotel can also be used to generate extra tips. I was shown to my room by one woman. Waiting at the door of the room was a second woman who showed me around the suite. Shortly after that a third person arrived to deliver the luggage.

I had been in my room for only a few minutes, yet already three tipping situations had been created.

The bellmen who deliver your bags to the room are insistent that they receive a tip. They are extremely reluctant to leave until their palm has been crossed with silver. Yet travellers often do not have any local currency in their wallet upon arrival in a foreign country.

I usually travel with only a light carry-on case and am quite capable of carrying it to my room. But bellmen frequently wrench it off me in the lobby, presumably so they can get their tip for delivering it safely to me again.

Tipping aside, I would prefer to hold on to my bag myself. I am sure that I will look after it better than a porter who may have up to 20 guest suitcases to keep his eye on. And if I keep hold of my luggage, it will arrive at my room at the same time as I do. After a long flight when all you want to do is go to bed or have a shower, it can be frustrating to wait 10 or more minutes for your luggage to reappear.

A television programme showed that one of the times your luggage is most vulnerable to theft is when your taxi pulls up to the hotel and your bags are in a twilight zone. While the passengers are paying the driver and assuming the bellman has the bags, villains can easily sneak in and take them.

It's all very well for bellmen to frown if you lift your own luggage out of the boot - but they are not the ones who will be inconvenienced if it is stolen.

Another service hotels perform for guests is hailing them a taxi. Sometimes, as on the Place de la Concorde in Paris, this is a death-defying act involving stepping out into lanes of roaring traffic. In these cases, a tip is well-deserved.

But, all too often, hailing a taxi means the doorman merely has to nod at the first taxi lined up at an adjacent rank. It would have been easier for the guest to step directly into the waiting vehicle but that isn't the done thing.

Surely you shouldn't be expected to cough up if someone performs a service that is a nuisance or creates a problem only so they can solve it for you.

And when someone yells "Oi, what about a tip, mate?" you can always reply with that tried and true tip: "Be kind to your mother."

Just be prepared to run fast.