NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

<i>Dialogue:</i> Lipstick alone is not enough

13 Aug, 2001 06:32 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

By ROANNE PARKER

I was thinking about how tricky it can be to decide on a nice gritty subject to write about. Because that's a fact, it can be tricky.

If I'm premenstrual, I'm the first to admit that I will either tend towards a nice warm soak in the jacuzzi of
self-pity, or the whinge, whinge, whinge. I have to arrest my cynical little fingers sometimes as they whizz around my keyboard flinging nasty bits left, right and centre.

No one likes a whinger, do they? I've just read a great book by Nick Hornby which features a bloke who is a columnist for the local paper. His column is called "The Angriest Man in Littleton" (or some other place, but as I've lent the book to my sister I can't check).

As you would imagine, he is always angry, writing about how much he loathes travelling on transport with smelly children and how he detests all populist culture, things like that. Of course, I countered wittily to myself, he would be fine if he would just move to Auckland where we have no public transport or culture to speak of.

But no one wants to read about the same old thing all the time. I'm rather lucky that I have a life with a textbook case of multiple personality disorder on which to draw.

We have Roanne the mum, and Roanne the employee, the boss, the dreamer, the writer, the marketer, the girlfriend, the former wife, the sister, Roanne the daughter, the occasionally drunken best friend and just me, the very average woman who laughed until she snorted at Bridget Jones and who needs to lose 5kg and, very occasionally, a bad attitude.

So usually it's no problem for me to come up with a bit of grist for the mill. Still, I find myself sniffing around for inspiration all over the place.

I have always been a column reader. I think it's a bit like opera; you either do or you don't. But I find it inordinately unhelpful to read other columnists. Either they have such a great idea that I desperately want to plagiarise it, or they are miserably dull.

There are only so many lighter sides to a subject, and there seem to be a heck of a lot of columnists in the world.

I try to take notes as I sail through my days. I have lots of scraps of paper around my desk with little phrases on them. I jot things down when I think of them but I'm not organised enough to have a notebook, so they tend to be on receipts.

I have lots of those. But then I get stuck wondering what on earth I was thinking when I scrawled, "It's only a matter of time before I hear of ... " (pen runs dry).

A lot of my scrawls are observations about daily life, but many will never make it on their own.

For example, since I promise I will never write an entire column about lipstick, I must ask you (as per back of my Foodtown receipt from last weekend) why it isn't your favourite lipstick until it runs out, and why you forget what it's called when you are faced with Ms Pancake at the beauty counter and come home with Naked Blush No 2, which is so far from the Nude Flush No 22 you wanted that you feel like someone else entirely when you wear it.

Still, I love writing about all sorts of things, and I love your feedback even more than that. As my 8-year-old just said to me about another matter entirely, it's not a joke if nobody laughs.

Those of you committing these columns to memory (that's all of you, I'm sure) will recall that I was complaining that it had been a long, long time since I had received a real live letter.

Well in the ensuing weeks, I have had handmade envelopes, glittery writing, calligraphy from a calligraphy club, and a lovely letter from Denis, who has always loved writing letters and has been doing it since he courted his wife 50 years ago.

I had apologies from my no-good girlfriends in Melbourne who started all that angst, three pages from Mum and even a letter from my cousin, for goodness sake. How many people get letters from their cousins? They were all lovely and I thank you. My cup runneth over.

So that's it then. After a great deal of consideration I've decided that this week's column is about how it has been a long, long time since strangers sent me money. A long time. I can't even tell you how long.

No, forgive me, I'm just being a bit silly. Send a blanket to the City Mission instead.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

Motorcyclist dies following West Coast crash

01 Jun 10:38 AM
New Zealand

Aurora Australis lights become visible across NZ

01 Jun 08:22 AM
Crime

Church-going bank employee led secret life laundering $3m for meth syndicate

01 Jun 07:00 AM

‘No regrets’ for Rotorua Retiree

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Motorcyclist dies following West Coast crash

Motorcyclist dies following West Coast crash

01 Jun 10:38 AM

Emergency services were called to the scene about 5.15pm

Aurora Australis lights become visible across NZ

Aurora Australis lights become visible across NZ

01 Jun 08:22 AM
Church-going bank employee led secret life laundering $3m for meth syndicate

Church-going bank employee led secret life laundering $3m for meth syndicate

01 Jun 07:00 AM
‘You absolutely cannot say that': Ardern gets personal in much anticipated memoir

‘You absolutely cannot say that': Ardern gets personal in much anticipated memoir

01 Jun 06:36 AM
Why Cambridge is the new home of future-focused design
sponsored

Why Cambridge is the new home of future-focused design

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP
search by queryly Advanced Search