KEY POINTS:
Here's the trick - breeze into town with a bevy of gorgeous women and you'll have the media eating out of your hand.
The Owen Glenn picture, complete with "men at work" road sign neatly juxtaposed between the blondes, was pure theatre.
I suspect the only media-coaching Glenn
received was to keep his mouth shut, except when before Parliament's Privileges Committee, not that he took any notice.
Clutching a crucifix, and possibly a concealed clove of garlic, Glenn - articulate, charming and funny - was an irresistible media focus.
First was John Campbell live from Wellington airport, a fascinating exclusive secured after the irrepressible Campbell charmed his way into barristers' chambers and plonked himself down at the board table. Like a woman scorned, Glenn let fly at those to whom he'd donated money - Helen Clark and Winston Peters.
But that's not all.
The steak knives came out when Glenn gave a press conference in Auckland, and started carving up Mike Williams - a well-done aged rump if ever there was one.
Now it's all on for one and all - "he said/she said; did/didn't" - so we're none the wiser.
And all the commentators who predicted Peters would be gone by Thursday breakfast were wrong - which creates a strange minority quartet comprising Michael Laws, Chris Trotter, Tom Frewen and me.
That's scary, since we are usually at each other's throats in disagreement.
This week was very exciting for me because on Tuesday, after 12 months of abstinence, we finally got a television, just in time to watch the news with Glenn's appearance before the committee in Wellington.
It's a fabulous telly - big, flat screen and beautifully crisp, coloured pictures - but with such precision also comes shock.
The first thing we saw was Rodney Hide, just behind Owen Glenn, nodding, frowning, or shaking his head at committee members.
"Can we send the telly back now?" I asked my husband.
"I've suddenly remembered why I didn't like watching."
I mean, it's bad enough waking to Morning Report's obsession with Hide's Joe McCarthy-like allegations, but at least you can't see him. One year without television and suddenly he looks, to me, remarkably like Lockwood Smith. Do they share a personal trainer?
A cynic would say Hide snaffled a front-row seat to piggyback Glenn's television coverage, but that's unfair. The poor chap's obviously hard of hearing and vision-impaired, and needs a forward position to understand all the proceedings, in case his pals Geoff, Sean or Duncan call for comment.
But someone could teach him sign language, or make a television series, Signing with the Stars, so poor Rodney needn't camp outside the committee room for hours to bag the best seat. Signing Heather Roy from up the back would work just as well as pulling faces from the front.
On Wednesday night, when Winston Peters fronted to try to rebut Glenn's evidence, there was Hide again, looking a little less chipper, but by this time even my horse felt sorry for him - clearly Hide hadn't left his seat since Tuesday.
A bit like the urban-mythical one-arm bandit players at SkyCity Casino who don't leave their stools for a comfort stop, Hide was looking desperate, cold and wasting away.
Still, he's got $100,000 from Alan Gibbs to keep him covered, and who knows how much Act backers will cough up between now and November's election?
Somewhere in my stored archives in Wellington are papers with names of the many who have generously donated to the party, wanting nothing in return.
Among them, I recall, the much-maligned Velas and Simunoviches. Possibly, like other big companies, they gave to every political party to be fair, though I doubt the Greens shared the beneficence of the fishing industry.
At least Act has always been upfront and unashamedly touted itself as the party for big business.
But that may end. Ironically, Hide's campaign against New Zealand First, and his personal crusade against Peters, could play right into Helen Clark's hands.
She's made no secret of her view that taxpayers should fully fund political campaigns, disallowing private donations.
Should she form the next government - and at this stage there's a good chance she will - I reckon Clark will move quickly to change the laws.
Leaving aside the extra burden this will dump on the poor, long-suffering, taxpayer - apart from most Labour supporters who are already on the public purse - it will make the dismal jobs of the press so boring.
They'll have to report policy, not scandals, and what's the use of a telly without performers like Glenn, Hide and Peters?
