KEY POINTS:
On Friday, the National Party's latest spokesman for the arts, Chris Finlayson, met Auckland's culture power brokers to try to persuade them of his team's great love for the higher things in life.
"If you look around at the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra or Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra concerts,
if you go to theatres or art exhibitions, there you will see the National Party at play," he told them.
"Who serves on so many boards of arts organisations? I know for a fact it's members of the National Party."
Then, rather plaintively he added: "But for some reason, there seems to be a belief that members of the National Party are philistines."
He's wrong. It's not members of his party we outsiders think of as philistines, it's the leaders. Mr Finlayson possibly excepted.
And top of my philistine list is Dr Wayne Mapp, spokesman for Auckland issues, who was in Friday's audience. I wasn't there, but I hope he was cringing, for it's Dr Mapp who is resolutely refusing to back the Auckland regional amenities funding bill when it is introduced into Parliament next week.
If passed, it would guarantee a fair and adequate spread of regional cash for many of those organisations Mr Finlayson reckons his party faithful love to patronise.
Ironically, the proposal is being pushed by some of those National Party Auckland arts and service group board members of whom Mr Finlayson spoke so glowingly.
Yet Dr Mapp seems set to cut this lifeline before - if I can mix my metaphors - birth. One motive seems to be to score a cheap victory over the Government, which doesn't have the numbers to get this private bill introduced and sent to a select committee. But if that's not petty politics enough, Dr Mapp is also playing the parochial card, backing his local North Shore Mayor George Wood's vehement opposition to the proposal.
Mr Wood sees nothing unjust about his freeloading ratepayers crossing the bridge in large numbers to enjoy concerts and other facilities subsidised by ratepayers in Auckland City.
Dr Mapp, as MP for North Shore, obviously enjoys the free ride too. But how the National Party thinks such a partisan North Shore-ite can be taken seriously as its spokesman for Auckland as a whole, I don't know.
In the Weekend Herald, Dr Mapp countered the freeloader charge by asking, "When is Auckland City going to start funding the Bruce Mason Centre and North Shore Stadium?"
Don't tell me he expects Auckland City ratepayers to subsidise them as well, with just about every cultural and sporting facility in the region, and that North Shore bludgers get away with using them for nothing?
Tossing these two venues into the debate is a red herring. If he looked at the 11 regional groups that will initially benefit from the regional funding proposal, none of them is a venue. Eden Park is not there. Nor is the Auckland Town Hall, Aotea Centre or the Maidment Theatre.
What are there are vital parts of our regional social infrastructure such as Surf Life Saving Northern, Auckland Philharmonia Orchestra, Auckland Rescue Helicopter Trust, North Coastguard and Auckland Theatre Company,
Dr Mapp lists among his leisure activities, private plane and glider piloting and sailing, so there's even something in it for him, if he falls out of the sky or his boat.
He says he's awaiting a briefing from Auckland Issues Minister Judith Tizard before his caucus votes on the bill, but that's just fudging.
He's already been fully briefed by the bill's authors - party faithful included. If he's worried by the fine print, then it's all at www.together.org.nz.
He's also suggesting the bill be shelved until after the Royal Commission into Auckland governance reports back. But that won't be until December next year, or maybe later.
After that, there's no guarantee of any reforms. By the end of that process, some of the organisations seeking the cash could have collapsed.
Enacting the bill now will not interfere with or duplicate the royal commission's work. Like similar legislation already supporting Auckland Museum and Motat, it will easily be slotted into any new regional governance reforms.
If National wants us to stop regarding them as philistines, the solution is simple. Stop acting like philistines and support the introduction of this bill.
